A Brother's Journey
by LawJ80
Summary: What if Carl had gotten kidnapped by the governor after the first attack at the prison and he was saved by a stranger. Meet James Law a nineteen year old former military cop, a loner trying to forget his past. What happens when he saves Carl and gets a second chance at something he lost.
1. I Fought the Law

**Those who are wondering why chapter 1 looks different, I went back and simply tweaked the spacing to make it easier to read and I will be going on to the other chapters and doing the same thing. Also some very minor changes to some words to make it flow slightly better. Anyway if this is your first time reading this enjoy, if you're coming back to read this again for the heck of it you enjoy as well.**

 **Prologue**

I could hear the sounds coming from the other room, the screams…the agony coming from the person that I was supposed to protect no matter what. "Please God let him live" I started praying. More screams for help. I twisted with the ropes trying desperately to break free with all my might "don't let my mistake kill him" I whimpered. I could feel blood pouring from where the rope rubbed the skin raw but I didn't care I had to do something but as the men brought the boy back into the room my heart sank.

"Now let's try this again" the fat one said coming over to me

 **Chapter 1 "I fought the Law"**

I woke up to the sound of my alarm going off on my watch I turned it off and laid back in my sleeping bag and stared at the familiar roof of my tent. The tent was a small two person affair with the interior being a dark red color while the outside was dark green.

I took a few minutes and looked over to my bag and equipment. The Bag was a big black patrol pack that contained some spare nine millimeter rounds, a poncho and a small portable stove and also a few MREs however those were starting to dwindle. I got out of the sleeping bag and got dressed in my dark blue jeans, and hiking boots, above the waist I wore a white undershirt and grey button up and a brown leather jacket.

My Beretta that was in a black drop leg holster was standard Air Force issue with a fifteen round mag which was fully loaded, my collapsible baton was a little beat up but it would hold up for a little while longer.

My body was holding up pretty well for the apocalypse and I still maintained my four pack and somewhat large muscles, my short hair was now long and scraggly and my beard was coming along nicely. I packed up my sleeping bag and tent and picked up the beat up leather case that held my Security Police shield and Air Force ID and put it in my pocket, I then picked up my .300 bolt action rifle and put on my Civil Air patrol ball cap and started my walk to wherever.

I bet you are wondering why I still kept that badge, the simple answer was that I still believed that one day that the world was going to back to the way it was before and also part of it was pride. Ever since I was a kid I wanted to be a cop and when I was seventeen I enlisted in the military and became one, then two years and x amount of deployments later the world went to shit and I wasn't ready to give up yet.

I continued to walk along and not think of anything and then I heard the screams. I crouched and listened intently to the woods, birds chirping the sound of an animal scampering through the leaves and then the screams again coming at eleven o clock, without thinking I got up and ran towards the sounds.

I stopped at a clearing where a small one story farm house stood, the screams came again and they were definitely coming from the house, I made my way up to the building and set my bag down in some bushes and looked through a window. Inside was a boy about thirteen shirtless strapped to a table and being interrogated (water boarded) by a man wearing old dirty BDUs but he himself had a clean cut appearance.

"What the fuck" I whispered to myself "this shit doesn't happen here.". I got down from the window I realized that my bolt action rifle wasn't going to do much good so I took out my pistol, and left my rifle in the same bush as my bag I approached the door and opened it with a small creek and stepped in.

The house smelt musty and damp as I stepped in through the door and into the interior. Looking around the house appeared untouched, and if it wasn't for the fine layer of dust everywhere I would say someone was living there. I listened for any sounds, there were none except from the boy and I made my way to the room that as far as I could tell they were in and put my ear to the door.

I heard a man with a gravelly voice ask "so Carl…how many of the governor's people or people in general do you have in the prison?"

I heard silence for a few moments before "I…don't… Know" a young voice responded obviously tired and probably had been enduring this for hours.

I didn't know about the governor at the time and what he had tried to accomplish with the group before I showed up but I could already tell if this was happening I really didn't want to know the guy anyway. I readied myself at the door and kicked it in with all my might with my pistol at the ready and pointed it at the only man in the room "DON'T FUCKING MOVE" I shouted as I quickly scanned the room for any possible threats (there were none) I continued to point my gun at the man who acted as though I had brought coffee and doughnuts, his smile never left and his eyes were lit up with amusement.

"Ok take it easy" the man said putting up his hands. "What the fuck is going on here?" I asked him.

The man responded "I think we got off on the wrong foot, my name is"

"SHUT UP" I shouted and the man did. The boy on the table looked at me with pleading eyes and for a moment I remembered something that I wanted to forget. I looked around the room at all the torture equipment and let's just say that the waterboarding was the better treatment that the kid had gotten.

"Who are you and what are you doing with this kid?" I stated.

"I was simply just trying to find out why the boy's group killed so many of our own innocent people" I looked at the boy who was shaking from fear and probably the cold as well.

I looked back at the man "Bullshit, if that was the reason why we're interrogating him about numbers at the prison, you should know how many people he took…right?"

The man realized what side I was on and had anger in his eyes now he pulled a gun and I shot him three times in the chest and he went down. He was coughing on his blood as I went up and put a round in his head and then he stopped. I really should have put a suppressor on my pistol because my ears were ringing and hurting like hell after I fired the shots inside the enclosed space but I would worry about that later.

I went over to the kid who had been through hell and then some and undid the straps; I picked up the kid and got him out of the room and outside. The sunlight revealed the burn marks and cuts and the obvious broken arm among other things.

"God damn kid" I said the boy just looked up at me as I looked him over "what's your name man" I asked "Car…" I gave him a bottle of water and he sipped it slowly, I heard the man call him Carl inside so I took a shot "ok, Carl, where is your family?" I asked.

"The prison" Carl said talking slightly better than before.

There were a few jails in the area but only one Prison as far as I knew and it was only a few miles away, I got a dark red sweatshirt out of my bag and put it on the teen and said "Carl I need you to hold on very tight, do you understand" he nodded

"Ok" I said as I put my bag on the front of me, Carl on my back and picked up my rifle and started the journey.

Every single muscle in my body was burning as I approached the prison from the wrong side so the long journey became longer as I went around the compound ; the dead were coming every which way as I slung my rifle and took out my pistol and shot them in the head as I ran.

"OPEN THE GATE" I yelled as I ran, banging my pistol along the fence line. My passenger had lost his grip and gone unconscious a few minutes before so I handcuffed him and looped his arms over me so he wouldn't fall again

I made it to the front gate where a man with long black hair and beard was running towards me with both concern and anger, I collapsed onto the ground getting Carl off my back and laid there as a small group of people that I didn't see before gathered around and took Carl and flipped me over and handcuffed my hands and blindfolded me, that's when I blacked out.

I awoke a few hours later happy that the ringing that was in my ears from earlier had subsided, but I was upset to discover that I was still handcuffed but this time to a chair but no blind fold, the room I was in was small and dark with the only light coming from a small bulb from above, the only furniture being the chair a table and another chair, just as how an interrogation room would be set up at a police station. I heard movement and a door opened with the man from the gate stepping in and coming over to where I was. He looked me over and sat down in a chair across from me and after a few minutes stated "So you were a military cop" he asked with interest.

"Who's asking", the man said nothing "my name isn't important, what is important that you answer these questions so I know that I…we can trust you…understand?"

I nodded "so I have to earn your trust even after I saved Carl" the man nodded his blue eyes boring into me, "Ok" I said as the man asked "so you were an Air Force cop"

"That's right" I said nodding the man opened up my badge case and stared at it for a moment "AMN James Law?"

"A1C James Law" I said correcting him "and yes I know about the irony of my name" the man had a brief glint of a smile and then it went right back to being serious "well A1C Law, we and especially me are very appreciative of what you did for my son" I remained silent as the man continued "and we would like someone like you to stay with our group, it is the least we could do"

I nodded agreeing. "But before we do that I need to ask you some questions" "do you want to join our group" I nodded "good, now first question is: how many walkers have you killed?" I thought the number over again in my head before settling on a number and stated "about fifty". The man nodded his head "How many people have you killed?"

"Before or after" the man looked at me with a hint of concern before saying "both"

"in war I killed four people, after all this…about six" the man said nothing obviously waiting for more, "the first two were my parents…they wanted to die together" the man nodded understandingly "the next two were someone who hurt me and a person that I cared a lot for"

"the next one was the person I cared very much for…he wasn't going to make it" I paused for a moment thinking about the time were my world crashed completely around me, I answered the last one quickly "and the last person that I killed was the person that was torturing Carl" the man said nothing hanging on to every word and then walked over and undid my handcuffs

"Welcome to our community my names Rick Grimes I was a sheriff" Rick said extending his hand "pleasure to meet you Rick" I said taking his hand, "name's James Law I was a military cop"

 **Hope you enjoyed the chapter please let me know if you did and what you thought.**


	2. A Brother's Bond

**A special thanks to MinervaRules for taking the time out of their schedule to review my story. I believed that I fixed the issue however there have been small errors with saving. Also as i will always say, thank you to those who have followed or read and like this story it means a lot. if you like the chapter or see something that could be improved let me know. Anyway onto the story**

 **Chapter 2 (a brothers bond)**

"Why did he have to say something…why didn't I do something" these thoughts raced through my head as I watched the men leave the room and for the first time Greg and I were alone. I felt nothing but pain both physical and mental as I could do nothing except struggle against the bonds, "Greg" I called softly, no answer.

(Five weeks after saving Carl)

I awoke having a panic attack at about five in the morning it lasted a good ten minutes before subsiding. (a thing that I should have mentioned earlier is that I was diagnosed with PTSD or post-traumatic stress disorder due to some of the things that I saw and did overseas, I was however able to keep this from my family and the military due to me going through a private doctor).

I threw up in the toilet in my cell and got up and looked in the mirror, my hair was cut a little shorter and my beard was trimmed and I still had that scar from when I was a kid…what did I think changed since last night. I put on shorts and a t-shirt and walked out into the common area by my room and started stretching.

One of the many good things of being with the group was the fact that I could work out in the mornings like I used to do, I got out my IPod and put on the song "the man who sold the world" by Midge Ure and started to really work out. I was on my fiftieth push up when I sensed someone was in the room, I brushed it off and continued till I hit one hundred then I stopped and jumped up and looked around, there was Carl standing near the entrance not coming over.

I waved the boy over smiling, Carl smiled and came over. I learned from various sources that Carl had at thirteen gone through more than most people had, such as his mother dying in child birth, having a baby sister to look after, and also having the man torture him five weeks ago. Yeah the kid definitely had a hard life the good news was that he was mostly healed up from the ordeal. For me he was becoming a sort of a surrogate brother and it was kind of nice.

"Did you just do one hundred pushups?!" the boy asked, I nodded as I took a sip of water

"What's going on Carl?" I asked

"Well I was wondering if I could work out with you, so I'm not…" the boy paused for a few seconds deciding the right words

"Not what?" I asked

"Weak" the boy admitted putting his head down. I couldn't believe that this kid thought that he was weak everything that he went through and he thought he was weak?

"Yeah I have no problem with that; you want to go for a run?" I asked. "Yeah lets go" the boy said delighted, I handed the boy a pair of shorts "go put these on, trust me you're not going to want to run in jeans" Carl took them and went to one of the cells and got dressed.

We stepped outside into the cool fall morning at least I think it was fall, there was a slight mist and the sun was just coming up as we started our run. Five miles or ten laps around the prison walkways that's what I did every day in about forty minutes, today was not going to be one of those days however since Carl was struggling by the third lap and I slowed slightly.

Somewhere around the eighth lap "How… far …have we gone?" Carl asked struggling to breathe slightly, "about a mile" I said, when I volunteered for an organization called Civil Air Patrol (air force auxiliary) I would purposely lie to the cadets about how far they had gone and usually that would encourage them to go further and they did…Carl was no different. After the tenth lap Carl collapsed on the ground I handed him a bottle of water

"You might want this…but drink slowly" Carl did and I sat down next to him sipping my water, "so I told you that we were going to do two miles" Carl seemed disappointed and said "I'm sorry James I thought that I would have been able to keep up but…" I put my hand on his shoulder

"Carl you did five miles" I saw a smile form across his lips and we stood up and started walking toward the entrance, I took off my shirt out of habit revealing my scars Carl looked inquisitively at them.

Everyone always stared "Ask away friend" I said as we walked Carl looked down and then asked "so how did you get the scars?" I pointed to the first one near my heart "I was seventeen fresh from tech school and at my first duty station my partner and I get this call about a domestic, I get there and the husband answers the door with a gun pointed at my head and then we fight for it and this .45 goes through my vest and through my chest and I'm on the ground bleeding out as my partner takes the guy out and saves my life."

Carl stared in awe at both the wound and the calmness in my voice as I continued "this one" I said pointing to my bicep was from a knife that a friend pulled on me after a disagreement over a football game at a bar" and then I pointed to the final scar on my back "and this one was from shrapnel from a convoy in Iraq" I said this as I put my shirt back on.

We walked in silence and I was worried that I said too much when he said "I got a scar from when I was shot" I looked at Carl and he looked at me "who would want to shoot you?" I asked then had a realization that the kid had already been tortured why was shooting that much further.

Carl shook his head and said "it was an accident…a hunter shot a deer that I was next to and the bullet went through and got me" we continued to walk along and I stopped and so did he

"don't you ever say you are weak again Carl, you have gone through more pain and torment in your thirteen years than most people go through in a lifetime and here you are still kicking, that says something about you and that is that you are strong…got it" Carl looked at me and nodded and we continued to the door where Rick was standing with Judith in his arms

"Run far?" Rick asked giving Judith a bottle. "just five miles" Carl said nonchalantly as he went inside Rick seemed surprised that his son ran that much, I stood next to him "your good with him James" Rick said, I looked out toward the forest and the sun peaking over the trees

"well I used to have a brother his age, so I guess I have plenty of practice" Rick said nothing at the mention of a brother and didn't expect him to, if I learned anything from the group was that if you wanted to talk then people would listen but only if you were ready to talk"

We both went inside to the waking group as they grabbed food from a buffet line and I grabbed some eggs and bacon and turned around seeing all the people inside a tight enclosed space I felt the beginnings of a panic attack starting as I felt the walls coming closer and closer and then I felt a person grab my arm it was Rick

"Hey you alright?" I nodded as I followed him to the table were Michonne and Carl were already sitting and eating, after a few minutes I was relaxed and in a different world and then I blew my moment of peace.

"Hey Greg you mind passing the salt" I said to Carl (Greg was my Brother, same age as Carl when he died) Carl looked at me confused and Rick understood immediately what happened before he could say something I got up from the table and went outside where the nice sunny morning had turned into a drizzle.

"GOD DAMNIT" I shouted I punched a nearby dumpster once or twice or ten times saying "FUCKING GOD DAMNT IT, I WAS HAPPY" I stopped and looked down at the blood on my hand and then I saw Rick coming over, if anyone understood what I was going through it would be Rick, Rick had lost his wife and almost lost his child not to mention various other people in the group before I had got here. He said nothing he just looked over my hand.

"I think you might have broken it" he said quietly, I nodded Rick was done examining my hand and let it drop back to my side "was Greg your brother?" he asked speaking quietly again, again I nodded.

"If you need to talk to anyone about what is going on just know that I'm ready when you are, Rick tilted his head and I could see the compassion in his eyes that I had not seen since my dad died. "ok" I said weakly, "let's go get Hershel to look at your hand…ok" I nodded wiping a tear from my eye and followed Rick back into the crowded room, people kept on eating not paying attention to anything except their food and the person in front of them. Carl followed us but kept his distance until I motioned him forward and he caught right up soon after.

No one said anything as Hershel looked over my hand and finally declared that it wasn't broken surprisingly and would take about a week to heal, good thing it wasn't my dominate hand or shooting might have been a problem. Rick left to take care of something, Carl stayed, and Hershel bandaged my hand and after thirty minutes I was walking down the hallway with Carl who said nothing, he could sense that I wasn't ready and I'm not sure if he entirely understood why I called him Greg but right now I just needed to be alone, we said our goodbyes and I grabbed my rifle and went up to the roof and relaxed for a few hours shooting at walkers with my now silenced gun.

I awoke at around three in the morning and since I usually went to be around midnight this had me slightly irritated, I just sighed and got out of bed and put on my jeans and a t-shirt. I walked down the dark halls of the prison listening to the sounds of people breathing and snoring, the only other sound was the sound of my boots on the concrete floors. I was thinking of nothing important when my ears picked up the sound of someone having a panic attack; I walked quicker down the hallway till I stopped at the cell that belonged to Carl.

I opened up the blanket that served as a door and saw Carl in a ball breathing very quickly with tears running down his face. I said nothing as I sat down beside him unsure of what to do, I simply put my arm around him and he started to calm down a bit.

"You don't have to say anything Carl, I'm right here and I'm not leaving unless you want me to." Carl said nothing but calmed down quite a bit from when I first saw him and then after a few minutes he said

"I'm just so scared all the time" I took a second to think before I said "I am too, Carl" the teen looked up at me surprised at what I said "you don't look scared, what could scared of" I thought about how to word what I was going to say and then said "well scorpions are pretty creepy" Carl put his head down and then I got serious

"I'm scared that I am going to end up alone again" Carl looked up and gave me his full attention "when my brother died I came so close to ending it, but I didn't or couldn't I kept going for some reason. And then I heard you in that house and I thought, ok this is the day maybe I can die with honor. And then I saw you and what you were going through and I knew that I had a chance to right a wrong and so instead of dying I got another chance."

Carl didn't say anything he was so quiet I thought he was asleep but when I looked down he was still awake and then he said "I wish I could be your brother" I remembered something that I did with my best friend when we were both young and said "hold out your hand" Carl did and I took my pocket knife and made a small cut on his finger and mine and then our fingers touched and our blood came together and I said "it is official Carl we are now blood brothers and we will always have each other's backs" Carl said nothing has a smile formed on his face and then shortly after he fell asleep, and after I put him to bed and went to sleep back in my cell I had the best night of rest since my family died.


	3. Old faces, New places

**Hello everyone, first off to those who are confused about this update I took down the original chapter three due to me feeling like I rushed it out and that I pushed myself into a corner so instead here is the chapter that I wanted to write originally. Those of you that liked the original, don't worry it will be coming back most likely as the next chapter but slightly different. Thank you everyone who enjoys this story, it means a lot.**

Greg stared at me as the blood pooled from his mouth, he was trying to say something but I couldn't tell what it was his eyes were pleading for me to help him and I couldn't, "I love you brother, and I am so… and I am so damn proud of you" I said as best I could with tears dripping down my face. My pistol went under his chin and I fired.

"Old faces, new places"

"Alright try it again" I said pulling Carl up, the teen was frustrated that he still hadn't gotten the pistol from my hand "Come on can we just move on to something else" he said. I shook my head as I aimed my empty Beretta at him; "You got this" I said and with that Carl leapt for the gun and again I was able out maneuver him and again Carl was on the grass. "You're too quick" Carl said slapping his hands on the dirt, trying to justify his mistakes, i sat down next to him and handed him a bottle of water he took it thankful for the rest. "And that's why you have the advantage" I said to Carl, he looked at me inquisitively as I explained my thought "guys that are taller than you, or bigger, or quicker etc. will almost always underestimate you because you are just a kid" Carl seemed to be understanding what I was saying "so make it seem that I'm weak so I'll have the advantage" I nodded "and make them come to you" Carl got up and said "so are you going to sit there or are we going to do this".

I smiled and got up and drew my pistol and pointed it "alright, KID give me all your stuff" Carl shrunk down and put his hands in the air but said nothing. "Didn't you hear me KID, give me your stuff" Carl pointed to his ear and shook his head; I got closer and then received a punch under my chin that actually sent me staggering and made me drop my gun. Carl grabbed it and pointed the weapon at me with a big grin on his face "Oh my God I actually did it" Carl said excitedly, I nodded and said "yeah you actually hurt my jaw" i rubbed it as Carl came closer "sorry are you ok" I tackled Carl and pinned him on the ground laughing "don't let your guard down" I said as we both laughed I got up and helped the teen to his feet. "I think that about four straight hours of this is enough for today" I said reloading my pistol as we walked towards the prison (it had been a few days since I found Carl in his cell and since that night he seemed to be doing much better than before and so did I)

"So how are you holding up today" I asked, Carl nodded his head smiling and said "definitely better" "Good to hear, if you need to talk you know where to find me" Carl just nodded knowingly as we got to the gate Rick and Glenn were standing there and Glenn asked "hey James you mind coming on a run?" "With just the two of you", both men nodded and Carl asked "Can I tag along" Rick seemed unsure and then finally conceded. Our little group went toward where the vehicles were "last scouting said that there was a small military outpost not far from here that might have supplies" Glenn said as we walked "might" I said sounding unconvinced "yeah that's why we want you to tag along, you would know where to look for stuff right?" Glenn asked "maybe, every branch has different people who organize things differently but yeah I should be able to figure it out" I said as we got into the SUV ,Glenn handed me an M-4 and a small backpack and we started our run.

We drove down the roads and streets of neighborhoods seeing the grass overgrown with various objects strewn around showing that places which were once people's private abodes were nothing more than an easy meal ticket for others. I was sitting in the front passenger seat with Rick driving and Glenn and Carl in the back, we pulled up to a gated community that had sand bags and M240 machine guns still looking ready to shoot but I knew that they wouldn't and upon closer inspection the amount of rust that had accumulated over the months proved me right. We listened for a few moments hearing nothing but the sound of trees blowing in the wind, and the occasional sound of birds chirping but no dead and no humans…yet. "seems like a basic FOB" I said looking around "I mean smaller than that even since it's just a cul-de-sac, I wouldn't expect there to be much" I said examining the gate and noticing the locks and the sign stating **U.S. government property it is unlawful to enter without authorization of the commander** "well maybe there is something" Rick and Glenn were heading down the wall to where there was a car rammed against the fence, I headed down with Carl and reached the car that they were attempting to use to scale over the fence. Glenn was up first and able to look over and said "it seems deserted, no walkers" I looked at Rick who said "jump over we'll be right behind you" and with that we were all over the fence in a minute.

The Cul-De-Sac was laid out into only four houses with various military boxes scattered around I went up to one of them and noticed that it was packed full of MRE's "what the fuck" I said "there is literally a months' worth of food in this container alone I said holding one of the packages in up. Everyone had the same look of surprise that I did as we opened the other eight containers that were there and discovered the same thing in each one. "Well that's… slightly disconcerting" Rick said looking around at the houses and the Humvees that were parked along the road. "I suggest that we stick together and clear each one of these houses out" I said trying to keep the fear out of my voice, I looked at the small group and they agreed as we approached the first house Rick and Glenn went around back and would wait until Carl and I cleared the house as we took the front. I looked at the boy who looked just as scared as I felt, I gave him a quick smile and pat on the shoulder "it's going to fine, remember I got your back brother" Carl smiled and readied himself at the door, I did as I had done a million and one times in training and a million and one times while deployed and I opened the door and started to clear the building.

"ROOM ON THE LEFT" I said as I entered what used to be a living room that was now set up with cots, we cleared it and moved down the hall. "DOOR ON THE LEFT" I opened it and revealed what was the broom closet "CLEAR" I said as we continued this through the entire house and found nothing that showed foul play or really anything. We went to the back door "TWO FRIENDLIES COMING OUT" I said as we opened the door to Rick and Glenn "anything?" Rick asked I shook my head as we went to the next house and waited while Rick and Glenn cleared it. As they stepped out "I don't understand, there should be something here that would show what happened but it looks like people are still living here" I said feeling more panicked Glenn replied "is that possible, that they are still here but on a patrol or something" I shook my head "not even the Coast Guard would leave fully loaded weapons out to rust". We went to the second to last house and like before Carl and I went through the front door.

The house layout was just like the first one only there was radio equipment instead of cots in the one room and other serious looking equipment in another that I didn't know what it did nor did I really care at this point. There was one last door just as we approached it a man burst out knocking me down he jumped on me revealing his appearance. His teeth were yellowed, his hair was a mess and his whole appearance I could only describe as greasy, he was wearing military fatigue pants but no shirt. He said nothing as he looked me over and Carl shouted"GET OFF HIM" and pointed his gun at the man, the man spotted my dog tags and examined them and whispered "Law?" he started laughing hysterically in my face and it took everything to not throw up from the smell, he showed me his dog tags and I read them and then whispered "Hunley?"

The man was Michael Hunley a man that I had served with overseas and who I though died when we hit an IED. Hunley got off of me and Carl put his gun down "you know this guy" Carl asked I simply nodded as I got up "is this Greg?" Hunley said taking a step towards Carl who promptly stood back, "no Mike this isn't Greg, and what the hell happened here?" Hunley just started rambling as he stepped around us, "the bird is wrong" he said as he made his way to the door Carl and I looked at each other as we followed him and called to Rick and Glenn to come around.

I couldn't believe how hollow the once proud man that I had served with had become. He was a Staff Sergeant in the Army infantry, a father to four kids, he was married, and he was…was a lot of things. "The bird tells lies to those who listen" Mike said again, Rick and Glenn came around and were shocked at the man that now joined us. "Who is he" Rick whispered to me. "His name is Mike Hunley; I served with him overseas" I said looking at my old friend "what has he told you?" Glenn asked "nothing he keeps saying something about a bird and that's about the only thing we got out of him. But I think the answers could be in the last house" Mike nodded at this and I went up to the house and was greeted with the smell of decaying flesh and the sound of flies, I entered with Rick and after clearing house that looked just like the other three we found dining room with fifteen dead bodies lying around a table, there were cups that were all scattered around, the soldiers had all been shot in the head, at a podium in the front of the room there was a corpse wearing a military uniform that identified him as a colonel. Nearby his body there was a flask which I picked up and sniffed it "cyanide" I said "the bird tells lies" I said repeating what Mike had moments before, looking around the room that looked like it was set up for a celebration with alcohol everywhere.

"The Colonel killed them all" I said quietly Rick asked "who shot them in the head" "Mike, he would make sure none of them turned, he must have been on his own for a while" "well he's more than welcome to come with us" Rick said. "thanks Rick, I think I can get through to him" standing up I spit on the Colonel's body as we left the tomb and went back out into the sun, Mike was talking to Carl and Glenn as we walked up "come on Mike your coming with us" I said "someplace that's really good" Mike just started walking to the gate and unlocked it for us for the first time he was quiet. As we loaded up the car Mike said nothing and his face revealed nothing. As we were going to leave Mike pulled me aside and simply stated "you are a good person, and that is why I can't go with you" he said pulling out a pistol and pulled the trigger at his temple.

I felt his blood on my face and arms, "NO" I said falling to the ground clutching his dead body, Rick and Carl ran up to me and said "we have to go now" I looked around at the walkers that formed around us, they dragged me away from his body and put me in the back with Carl and drove off. I started to have an anxiety attack as tears strolled down my face, I felt the arm go around me and I looked and saw Carl his face full of concern "I always have your back" he said "and I have yours" I whispered.

 **Hey everyone I hope you enjoyed this chapter, I am again sorry for those who liked the original chapter three but like I said at the top I felt as though I rushed it. However I will go over it again and come away with something better. As always if you liked what you read please let me know and if there is anything that could be done to better the next chapter.**


	4. All good things come to an end

**Hello everyone it's good to be writing again. Now I should have stated this day one but the cycle for new chapters will be about every four days to a week. Thank you to everyone who has decided to follow this story and as I'll reiterate when I first had the idea for this story months ago I didn't think anyone would like it and then I got one person to follow it and I couldn't believe it, so I just wanted to say thank you all. Anyway onto the story.**

I stared down at the body that once belonged to my brother and put the pistol into my mouth and pulled the trigger…nothing happened. I was shaking as the tears streamed down my face; I racked the slide back ejecting the round and tried to pull the trigger again and again it was a dud. "I can't even fucking kill myself" I said throwing my pistol on the floor; i looked around the room the only other things in it were the other two dead bodies that belonged to our attackers. I put my head onto the floor and just cried

" **all good things come to an end"**

 **Two days after the run**

The sun was starting its descent as the group and I sat outside near a campfire, it was something that Glenn had suggested after the run and it was actually taking my mind off things. We were eating the MREs that we had gotten during the run and I was informing everyone who got the best and who got the worst. "How's this one" Carl said holding up the package that said "Chili mac" "You've got to be kidding me Carl" I said sarcastically. "What is it bad?" he said sounding slightly worried not knowing if I was joking or not, "What you have there Carl could have been used as currency…actually probably is worth more now" I said thinking it over. Carl not believing me popped open the bag and dumped out the contents and his face showed it all "Okay I got Chili mac…obviously, and holy cow Skittles" he said looking over at me "and that's why" I said pointing at the candy in his hand. I opened up mine which was Beef stew with my "desert" being… raisins everyone else opened up their packets and then moments later the bartering began.

My I POD played music in the background as we sat the fire around telling jokes and eating the food, then a feeling came over me that we were being watched. I sipped my beer and tried to shake the feeling throughout the night but I couldn't and as the night continued so did the feeling. "Well I think that's enough for tonight" Rick said standing up and checking his watch, I checked mine as well and upon seeing the time was after ten I agreed. As we were walking into the prison I glanced around the woods hoping for an indication of people, but no there were no signs of anything. Carl came up next to me and asked "are we going running tomorrow?" I looked at the boy and replied "of course" and with that he smiled and ran ahead to his father and I headed to my cell.

As I sat in the darkness the feeling of being watched had subsided but another feeling was taking over…fear. "There's no one out there" I said trying to reassure myself "well the governor's out there" I said and then I flashed back to the day I met Carl, with that another feeling entered…hatred. "I hope he is out there watching because if I see him during my perimeter check, I'll kill him." I said putting my head on my pillow and finally going to sleep.

I awoke around five and got ready for the morning routine, every day Carl came around 5:30 in the morning to do PT with me which consisted of push-ups, sit-ups and other exercises, today was a run day. Carl showed up like he always did and we went out into the cool fall morning and began our run. We were done about fifty minutes later, compare that to the first day and Carl was definitely showing some improvement. As we walked up to the prison the feeling of being watched returned and instinctively I looked around. Carl asked "what's wrong" I looked at him and put on a fake smile and replied "nothing's wrong why do you say that?" Carl gave me a disbelieving look and replied "because I'm not a stupid little kid and I want to know what's wrong" "well you're definitely not a little kid" I said looking back out at the woods. It took Carl a minute to realize what I said and replied with a playful punch in the ribs. "I'm serious James, what's up?" "It could be nothing, but I just have a feeling that there is someone watching us"

Carl had a brief look of concern to which I said "I don't think it is anything, I'm going to do a perimeter check in an hour and that should tell us what we need to know" Carl seemed relived as we walked up to the door and he asked "Can I come with you?" I shook my head "not this time man" Carl just put his head down and went in and I followed. Rick was standing inside with Daryl and I shared my concerns with the two men. Rick after a few moments said "you want back up" I shook my head "I won't be more than an hour, I will have my radio though" Rick seemed unsure but relented when I said I had my radio "OK, tell us what you find when you find it, we'll be listening" and with that I went to get ready. Rick called out one last time "Hershel and MIchonne are going to be out there as well so watch out" I gave a quick thumbs up and continued to my cell.

I walked outside about twenty minutes later freshly showered wearing jeans, hiking boots, a dark green flannel shirt and a leather jacket. My gear consisted of my backpack with a three day supply of food and water and various cold weather gear, I also had with me my tent and a flashlight, I carried my pistol and baton and also a pocket knife. It might seem excessive but I made sure that if I stepped foot outside the fence I was going to step back inside, the only thing I didn't bring was my rifle and I honestly don't know why I didn't. I went down to the gate I knew no one would be manning it at this hour so I let myself out and secured it behind me then I started my check.

As I walked along I looked for anything out of place, I radioed Rick "should have done this before I left but, comm check" Rick replied "yeah you should have done it before, but loud and clear" I smiled as I continued my patrol until I came across some candy wrappers and some cigarette butts. I knelt down to get a closer look and pulled up my mike to radio it in when the cord from my radio was wrapped around my neck and I was taken into the woods. I struggled to breathe as I reached for my pistol which was quickly taken from me and then I felt someone's hands clamp around my throat and I heard someone whisper "You killed my brother you bastard" the darkness was closing in. the voice continued "you just had to intervene and save that stupid kid" I simply nodded and said weakly "and I'd do it again" the hands got tighter around my neck as I was spun around and saw my attacker. It was some guy I had never met but he did look similar to the man I had killed weeks ago, I tried to hit his hands away but my punches had no effect and took all my effort to even try. My life was flashing before me as my brain tried to remember everything it had learned in order to get out of the situation, and then I remembered just as my vision was almost gone, I reached into my pocket and grabbed my knife and plunged it into the guy's throat and head, immediately the pressure released off my throat and I fell to the ground gasping for air and then I blacked out.

I didn't know how much time had passed but I felt like crap when I woke up , after a few minutes of getting my bearings I went straight to looking the guy over, he was wearing woodland camouflage and also wearing a black tactical bullet proof vest along with a silenced AR-15 assault rifle . The radio that he had had someone talking about being in position to attack and… then the explosion came. I looked up and quickly put the guy's vest on and grabbed his rifle and started running.

 **Third person**

Rick stared at the governor and said nothing, he saw his friends Michonne and Hershel tied up in front of him, he looked behind him at the destroyed tower and then back at the governor. "Where's James?" Rick asked "Oh he is probably dead right now" the Governor said with a big smile on his face, Rick didn't know what to think or what he was going to say to Carl but right now he had a decision to make, either leave the prison or fight for it or maybe he could talk the Governor down. So he started talking

 **James's POV**

The adrenaline was coursing through my body as I saw the scene unfolding in front of me, Michonne and Hershel were captured by who I assumed was the Governor and there was Rick attempting to talk it out. I watched as the Governor put the katana to Hershel's neck and a few moments later I watched one of the kindest people die right in front of me, then the bloodbath began. I ran forward with my weapon and started shooting, I killed two of the Governors people before I was shot and I went down "Shit, shit , shit" I said breathing through the pain I looked down and saw that the bullet had just gotten my vest…but holy hell it hurt as I crawled to the bushes and concealed myself. I watched the scene unfolding and I could do nothing, I was still weak from the fight earlier and I eventually I passed out.

I awoke some time later and as I looked around I realized how quiet it was, my strength was back but as I breathed I went down "yep…I cracked some ribs" I said to no one, I walked past the destroyed fence and the dead bodies searching for someone I knew, but the only thing I found was blood and various body parts. My boots echoed around the empty prison interrupted only by the sounds of walkers, I slumped down on the ground not knowing what to do for the first time in a long while, and I just sobbed.

 **The next day**

I gathered up my supplies making sure I had everything, there was nothing left at the prison but pain and I wasn't staying around for that. I took the AR-15 rather than my old rifle and I walked down the path to the gate, I crossed the running path and held my breath knowing that I would probably never see Carl again, they might be alive but in all probability they weren't. On the outside I looked and acted just how I always did, strong but inside I was screaming, I just shook my head and walked down the road and headed into the woods.

 **Two days later**

I had been walking for a while when I came across some railroad tracks and decided why the hell not and then I continued on my way. I saw the sign a way back but thought nothing of it, I really couldn't make it out where I was, but as I got closer I couldn't believe the words, I ran to the sign and rubbed my eyes to make sure I wasn't seeing things. The sign read **SANCTUARY FOR ALL COMMUNITY FOR ALL THOSE WHO ARRIVE SURVIVE** I felt a smile come across my face however that wasn't the thing that had caused the smile to form, my eye went to the words that were written over the map they were **James go to Terminus. Carl.**

 **Hello everyone I hoped you liked the story and if you did let me know. Will James find Carl and the group at Terminus or will something else get in the way. Find out in the next chapter "Road to Perdition"**


	5. Road to Perdition

**Hello everyone, first a humble thank you from me to those who like this story, it means more than you will ever know. I just wanted to answer a question that was brought up in the comments did this story always take place in season 4, my answer yes and no. This story has its own seasons and there for stuff can happen completely different than it did on the show, sooner or later for example I was going to have James end up in Alexandria with other members of the group way before they were supposed to. Regardless I hope everyone enjoys this chapter, it was a huge pain in the ass looking up clips from the show on YouTube since the country I am currently in does not allow the Walking dead either on TV or online, also I apologize in advance for stuff missing that was in the show such as conversations that happened a big chunk of this is from memory…Enjoy!**

I frantically splashed the gasoline around the cabin, covering it as much as I could with the single gallon. I covered the bodies and whatever else with the foul smelling liquid. As I stood outside the door the smell was overpowering I took one last look around the room that had taken so much from me, I flicked open my lighter and threw it into the room that was my brother's tomb and walked away.

Chapter 5 "Road to Perdition"

Nothing could be heard except the crunch of my boots along the gravel as I made my way along the railroad tracks. It had been a few days since the attack on the prison and only a few hours since I had discovered the message left for me. I winced slightly as I took a deep breath and looked around the area feeling the heat coming from the sun and made my way to some trees for some shade and also to take a quick look at the map to see how far I was to Terminus. I smiled through the pain and the heat as I sat on the ground thinking that I still couldn't believe that they were alive and not only that but I was going to see them again. After confirming that I had about a day's walk ahead of me I put my map back in my bag and I continued my journey. My feet were sore as I continued my walk not thinking of anything in particular other than I might have been slightly off when I thought it was fall. Feeling the heat now I would put the date around August or early September, I mean what do you want from me there's no calendars letting me know the date during the apocalypse.

After a short time had passed I began to feel the sun going down and before I knew what had happened the moon was out and it was nearly pitch black, I stumbled along the path for a few moments before stopping and opening up my bag. I cursed myself for not paying attention to the hour and took out my flashlight and flicked it on, the small beam illuminated the tracks as I continued searching for a spot to make camp when I heard the noises.

I stopped and turned off my light and listened to the dark woods, the sound of peepers could be heard along with the sound from an owl, but through it all there were definitely voices coming from my left and I made my way into the trees to get a better look. Using the moon as my only illumination I approached the voices and stepped carefully to avoid any hazards and then I stopped and laid on the ground when I reached what was a road; I felt my blood run cold as I looked upon the scene. Before me was Rick, Carl, and Daryl and Michonne being held at gunpoint by five men, Daryl was being beat to death by two men, while Carl was being held by one. I couldn't hear every word being said but as I set up my rifle and looked through the scope...I didn't need to. I watched the scene unfold through my scope and I could hear Carl yelling for someone to help him as the man forced him on the ground and flipped him onto his stomach.

I wiped the sweat off my forehead as I readied myself to take the shot and when I was startled by the sound of a pistol going off as I saw Rick get up and punch who I assume was the leader. I turned my rifle onto him as Rick went down from a blow to the head; I was breathing heavily as I lined up the laser dot onto the man's head. The man repeatedly kicked Rick in the stomach as Rick kept trying to get back up; I took one more breath…held it…and fired.

My silenced shot found its mark and the man went down onto the ground, Rick look confused as I readied my other shot and took out the two men around Daryl they seemed as confused as everyone else as my bullets ended their miserable existence, Michonne took the opportunity to take the pistol of the man in front of her and quickly shot him. With that there was only one person left, I stepped from the trees and made my way to the bloodbath that had just unfolded. Michonne aimed her gun at the man who was using Carl as a human shield. As I stood beside Michonne I saw the knife being held to Carl's throat and the blood from a cut on Carl's chin, I also saw the fear in Carl's eyes. "I'LL KILL HIM" the man screamed as he put the knife closer to Carl's throat. I felt an anger that I had only felt once before in my life as I stared the man down not saying anything, the man looked behind me as Rick came up and simply stated "He's mine".

With that the man threw Carl and the knife down and attempted to plead with the father to which Rick replied with a knife through the man's abdomen. Carl crawled along and then quickly got up and ran and threw his arms around me sobbing, as I embraced him I pulled him away from what was occurring whispering that it was all over.

 **Two hours later**

Rick, Daryl and I sat outside of a truck while Michonne and Carl slept inside. The three of us had already said what needed to be said but no one really felt like talking anymore and to be fair neither did I. The hope that I had felt hours ago had faded and even though I was happy that I was back with the group, or at least a portion of it I couldn't believe the circumstances around our meeting up again. I leaned my head against the truck and simply stated "if you both want to go to sleep I'll keep watch" the men said nothing and I didn't either. None of us wanted to sleep and I could tell that Daryl felt guilty about the whole thing since he rode with the gang for a little bit. Rick however did get up and went and sat in the truck as I put a stick into the small fire that we had going and looked over to the small amount of supplies that we had taken from the bodies and whatever was in the truck. There was a small amount of anything useful but the thing that had caught my eye was the guitar and I insisted that it be spared the fire for a few hours, I got up from my seat and grabbed it and then immediately sat back down.

"You going to serenade me" Daryl saying something for the first time since the attack. I played with the strings and replied "I know how much you would like that redneck, but no" I continued to play with strings "there was a song on my IPod that I enjoyed quite a bit, unfortunately the thing is dead" I said as I continued along with the strings "it's an oldie but a goodie" i said as I continued to play with the cords. Eventually Daryl asked "well what was it" I replied "I won't back down, by Johnny Cash" Daryl nodded saying something like Linkin Park was better before I could respond I heard the truck door open, I looked to see Carl crawling out and coming over to the fire and sitting down.

"Can you actually play that thing" he asked pointing to the guitar, I nodded as I strummed the cords. "Can we hear something" Carl asked quietly I looked over to Daryl who shrugged, "alright, this is one of my favorites" I said as I started strumming the melody to "I Won't back down" and eventually I started to sing quietly as the two listened in silence as I went through the song, and before I knew it I had Rick and Michonne watching and listening from the truck. "And I won't back down…no I won't back down" I continued the rest of the cords and then stopped and listened to the silence around us, I felt Carl rest head on my shoulder as we stared at the dying fire "I'm glad you came back" he whispered, I simply nodded and said "me too" as Carl went to sleep I saw Daryl give me a thumbs up and lay down on the ground next to his cross bow, a few minutes later Rick came and sat next to me and Carl and said "that's the first time I think he's slept in days" I looked down at Carl who was completely passed out, Rick looked at me and said "I'm thankful that you found your way to our group, and for everything that you've done for Carl, taking him under your wing like you did" I said nothing as I felt my eyes getting heavier.

"you are a part of my family now and no matter what happens in the next few days or months or years for that matter I just wanted you to know that you are officially a Grimes" I nodded my head and responded "thank you, and don't worry about Terminus I have a feeling that we could be really lucky with this one" and with that I closed my eyes. I awoke hours later to the sun just coming up through the trees and feeling like I slept on a pile of rocks, I looked around at where I was lying "a literal pile of rocks, really" I got up and stretched and looked at the other members who were already packed and pretty much ready "what no breakfast" I said jokingly Carl tossed me a pop tart and Rick said "We think we'll be there in a few hours, we just wanted to get a move on early" I nodded as I gathered up my stuff and bit into the pop tart and started walking with the rest of the group.

A few hours later we could see the fence to what had to be Terminus "I say we go through the back and find out if they are who they say" Rick said our small group nodded our heads and put a few select items into a bag and buried it. Rick and I scanned the fence and found a decent area that we could hop over and then went back to the group and stated our findings. Carl seemed distant as we were going over the plan, I touched his shoulder and he reeled back like I hit him, "you OK" I asked. Carl shook his head and headed into the woods, I followed him till we were far enough away from the group when Carl said "I can't do this"

"What do you mean" I asked the boy looked at me with a look of shame in his eyes "I can't live like this, with my dad" Carl said softly. I replied "Carl what happened…it's not your fault, your dad doesn't" he shook his head and said "He told me the other day that he was proud of me…that I was a good man" I said nothing as he continued "but I'm not, I'm not what he thinks I am," I stood looking at Carl as he was on the verge of breaking down "I'm another monster too" Carl was shaking as he finished the statement not knowing what else to do I simply hugged him and whispered "You're not a monster" I said looking at him "your dad and I are more proud of you…of the man you've become than you will ever know" Carl said nothing as he blinked a few tears from his eyes and then a few minutes later we were heading back to the group, Rick asked "everything OK" I said that it was and then we headed over the fence.

We entered the former train yard and made our way along the buildings and entered one that seemed promising, inside we could hear a woman talk into the radio saying "Sanctuary for all, Community for all, those who arrive survive" we entered a large room with a few people going over plans. They stopped as we walked in through the door; a man put down something that he was working on and said "well I bet Albert is on perimeter watch" the man stepped forward and asked "You here to rob us?" Rick stated "No we just wanted to see you before you saw us" "Makes sense, usually we do the whole meet and greet thing at the tracks but, Welcome to Terminus I'm Gareth" we said nothing "It looks like you've been on the road for a good bit" "We have" Rick replied, "I'm Rick, that's Carl, Daryl, Michonne and James"

Gareth simply waved and continued on by saying how much nicer the welcome wagon was and then stated that he needed to see our weapons, Rick gave us the go ahead and we laid down our weapons and were patted down, I was too busy looking around trying to get a bead on everyone to pay attention to the conversation. The people seemed friendly enough, that wasn't necessarily a good thing though. Eventually we were lead outside and then to an area were food was cooking.

Rick glanced around at the various people as I did; I walked up to Carl who had his hands in his pockets. "Hands out at the ready" I whispered to him "Never let your guard down" Carl did as he was told and kept his hands near his pistol. I looked around and noticed someone wearing the same riot gear that we had in the prison and then Rick went forward and grabbed a guy with his gun drawn and started asking where he got the watch from. The rest of us pulled out our guns too as the people surrounded us, I stared up at the roof tops as I saw snipers get into position and Rick continued to try and get answers.

"Where did you get the armor" he yelled "we got it from a cop, the watch was an heirloom, what more do you want?" Gareth said "Rick we got to go" I said backing slowly and before I knew what was happening guns were firing at us from all different directions and we ran trying to navigate our way out of this hell. I saw that the people were shooting at the ground around us as we ran, "These people aren't storm troopers Rick, there leading us somewhere" I yelled as we ran, Rick didn't reply as we made it out into an open area and started running as fast as we could, then we were surrounded.

A voice came over a megaphone and said "Now put down your weapons" seeing no other option we did. "Now go to the boxcar one at a time" the boxcar was right in front of us and slowly one at a time we were all inside the sealed box cart. "Rick?" I heard a familiar voice ask, it was Glenn along with some other people I didn't recognize, Rick said nothing as Glenn pointed to other people "their friends, they saved us" Daryl replied "now their friends of ours" Rick stepped to the front of the boxcar saying "they're going to feel pretty stupid, when they find out" Rick was now at the front of the car when a person I didn't know asked "find out what?" Rick paused and finally said "there're screwing with the wrong people"

 **Find out what happens next in the chapter "This is war"  
**

 **Holy cow that was my longest chapter, I really hope people liked it please let me know if you did like it or what can be improved.**


	6. This is War

**Hello everyone I just wanted to say thank you to those who have chosen to follow this story and thank you to those who commented. Now something that was brought up about James interacting with others in the group, I agree with what you said and I know I haven't shown too many interactions with other members but remember that there were huge gaps in time between chapters the longest being five weeks in the story, during that time I'm sure James interacted with other people that you or I were not privy to. Please believe me when I say there are methods to my madness, also I know James brought it up in the second chapter that he struggles with PTSD and it will be brought up again in this chapter about some of the things he's going through and some of the problems associated with the disorder. Again I thank you for following this story it means a lot.**

I sat by the small fire at my small camp thinking of how things could have been different. Twenty five hours ago my brother and I were both alive and well making our way through the apocalypse and now I was alone, I numbingly pulled out the small leather bound Bible that I had carried through most of my life and leafed through it. The passage that I stopped on said "No greater love is this, than for a man to lay down his life for his brother" I stared at the page "he wasn't a man" I said quietly, "it should have been me" I tossed the book into the fire, I watched the flames eat away at the pages as the anger continued to burn inside of me.

 **Chapter 6 "This is war"**

 **Terminus**

We sat in the darkness of the car no one really said anything to me as they just went around the car, then a man sat down next to me. "Abraham" the man said extending his hand I took it and said "James" Abraham said "I heard from some others that you were military, that right?" I simply nodded and replied "Air Force, you?" "Army" he said with a smile on his face "so tell me what did you do in the Chair Force" I smiled at this and replied "Military Police, what did you do?" "Infantry" he said "ah infantry when you can't get anything else" I said jokingly. "You're not far off, I was fresh out of high school and joined up not thinking of anything else other than the recruiter said it would be good and there was nothing else available" "You believed him?" I asked. Abraham simply nodded, Rick called Abraham over before getting up he said "good meeting you James" he extended his hand and I took it "Likewise" and then he got up and went over to Rick. I sat there thinking things over, I didn't always have trouble talking to people but ever since the first deployment it was a real chore.

The doctors had said that was a problem with people who had PTSD that they had trouble trusting others and forming new relationships or even maintaining old ones. And even though I had gotten better at it, it was still so hard to do. I wanted so badly to connect with people but there was a part of me that just couldn't make the connection with them, I mean besides Carl, Rick and Glenn the only person I had really talked to at the prison was Bob and that was when he had first come to the prison, right now he was on the other end car talking to someone else. I felt alone, footsteps could be heard outside the car the group was getting into position around the door as I got up, then the roof over us opened up and then a flash.

I couldn't move, speak or even think; I could only observe as the men walked around us, they were talking about trivial matters as they set up the slaughterhouse. I looked down before me at the trough that would soon be collecting my blood and shivered at the thought. I had come close to death many times in my short career as a military police officer but every one of those near death experiences I at least had a fighting chance, now however with my hands and feet tied I only felt one thing…fear. My mind was racing a million miles a minute knowing that I as a human being was not going to be alive anymore I started shaking at the thought, my heart was literally going to explode out of my chest as it pounded away. My breathing got heavier as thoughts and memories came flooding back, my parents and my brother, Carl and Rick…my breathing was muffled against the gag that was in my mouth, bastards wouldn't even let me scream before I died.

I didn't know what was going to happen when I died, was it going to be like in the movies and I would just float up there…or possibly down. Or was there nothing at all and I just ceased to exist, my brain wouldn't even let me think that I was going to live as I only thought about what awaited me and yet it made the whole thing worse. Then I heard the whack of a baseball bat against a skull, the sound of a throat being silt and then I saw the blood creeping in front of me as it made its journey to the drain. Then came the next one and the next one, I looked down the line at Rick who appeared calm as he was awaiting his death, he gave me a slight nod and then continued staring ahead. Another whack and then another and then finally the men were standing behind me, I only heard laughter as they were getting ready to swing and then the man known Gareth walked in.

I breathed a sigh of relief as the men stopped what they were doing as they started doing inventory on how many shots had been fired and then Rick was being questioned about the bag that we buried in the woods, Rick was refusing to tell until Gareth threatened to stab Bob in eye Rick then said "it's filled with weapons, including rifles, handguns, a compound bow and a machete. Of the latter I'm gonna use to kill you." I wanted to shake Ricks hand with that jab at the end, but Gareth just replaced the gag and walked away.

The men behind me readied themselves again to end my life; I stopped breathing and braced myself for what was coming when the sound of an explosion could be heard. And before I knew it Rick had killed the two men and I among the rest of our group were free, there was Rick, Myself, Daryl, Glenn and Bob in all and then we started picking up weapons. I went over to the two dead men and was about to stab them in the head when Rick said "Let them turn" I sheathed my knife and started going with our small group and walked right into a room hanging with body parts, "were killing the rest of them" Rick said and no one disagreed as we continued outside.

The sound of banging could be heard from a crate near us and before anyone could say anything I walked over and opened it revealing a disheveled man screaming he quickly got attacked by a walker. I looked at the rest of the group "What the hell was that" Rick said "I wasn't going to leave him in there, were you?" I responded back. His look told me that he would have rather left the man to die; I said nothing as I walked back into our small group Glenn gave me a pat on the shoulder and gave me a reassuring smile letting me know I did the right thing as we continued. We came across a small group of people with weapons running toward the walkers, we waited for most of them to pass when Rick took down the last one and shot the rest with the guy's rifle. I quickly grabbed another rifle from one of the dead bodies and checked the chamber and magazine all my training took over as I readied the rifle and we made our way to the train car.

Chaos was everywhere as we opened the car that held everyone, I pulled security till we got everyone out and then we ran to the fence not looking back. Walkers came out every which way as we finally made it over the fence into safety.

We were in the woods all exhausted as we opened up the bag that contained all of our gear; I reached into my back pocket and remembered that our captures had taken my badge and Beretta. "Rick I have to go back" the group looked at me like I was crazy, I looked around at the people and besides Rick, Carl and Glenn I really didn't know these people that well and they didn't know me that well so I could only imagine what they were thinking about me when I stated this. "Why?" Rick asked "my badge was taken, I'm going back for it" "Like hell you are" Daryl said but before anyone could say anything more I ran through the woods and over the fence.

"This is definitely not one of my finer moments" I said as I cleared one of buildings and was in the process of clearing the other when I stumbled across the room I was looking for. There were random trinkets and weapons from various people in the room and then I found a Beretta in a drop leg holster, I checked the serial numbers and confirmed it was mine and next to it was my badge and ID. I put it in my pocket and put on my holster and gun and ran out the door. The sound of gunfire could be heard as I made my way across the lot I felt that something was off and a feeling of dread came over me as I felt myself collapsing on the ground and breathing quickly. It had been a while since I had a panic attack and now really wasn't the best time, breathing…body parts, the smell of gasoline in the air, the sound of screaming, calls for help. I was on the ground and I couldn't get up, walkers were coming everywhere but I could only see the enemy, someone called my name was it Abraham…no it was Hunley over by the upturned Humvee I couldn't run, I shot at the enemy as they closed in and then I felt myself being carried away, Hunley still called out as I tried to free myself and then I saw black.

The sound of a baby crying could be heard as I awoke with my head hurting like hell as I listened around me, "That kid is going to get people killed" I heard someone say, "no he's not, besides today he hasn't done anything to jeopardize anyone" I heard Rick reply. I said nothing and simply listened to the conversation, "look he seems solid, but the James needs help" Abraham said. Silence then Carol said "he needs to be left behind, he went back for a badge for Christ sake what if this happens again when he's on watch….or with Carl" she put emphasis on the last part for Ricks benefit. "Look all I'm saying is that I went through the same thing, I know what he's going through something you couldn't know Cheryl" Abraham said his voice getting louder. "It's Carol and you think I don't know or understand, my husband used to beat me when he was drunk, or at home, or really just anytime and yet I was able to get all of you out without problem" the sentence hung in the air before Glenn said "were not leaving him behind, were not going to leave anyone behind" Rick said "I don't want to leave him he doesn't deserve that, and it won't happen again" "Rick if I may, logically speaking these episodes can happen at any time and there is no telling when and where they'll happen"

I didn't know who said that last part but the way he talked irked me, "fuckin smart guy" I mumbled "I don't want to do it this way but we'll put it to a vote" Rick said everyone fell silent "your fucking kidding me" I said to myself "you can count me, Eugene and Rosita out, were going to Washington as soon as possible" Abraham said "Wait can't just get rid of him, he saved me" Carl said pleading Rick said nothing at this and then finally "Alright, you know where I stand, now those in favor of having him stay raise your hands" Rick said unwillingly. I looked over at the small group and saw four hands raised Glenn, Tyreese and Carl. Five votes for me I thought as Rick stated "those opposed" I saw three hands go up, Carol, Sasha, and Bob" Michonne and Daryl and Maggie stood aside "We're not being a part of this, he has more than earned his keep" Daryl said. "Well regardless he stays" Rick said

I got up from where I was laying and walked over; the group was silent as I said "really voting" I was keeping my voice calm as I said "I know what I did was selfish running in back in there" "you got that right" Carol said under her breath I gave her a look of contempt before continuing, "and Bob fuck you, fuck you in particular voting for me to be exiled you were worse off than I was when you came to the prison, and Carol really" I said "You knew me back at the prison, not well but did you think I was dangerous" she said nothing "I know where things stand now between us four" I said pointing my fingers at the three of them "thanks for the clarification" I said walking over to my backpack and rifle, "alright it will be dark in a few hours gather up your stuff and lets move out" Rick said as I gathered my gear and started walking with the rest of them.

Carol walked up next and said "when you get someone killed in our group and believe me it will happen, I will make sure that you will never see the light of day again" and then she went back to where she was, everyone else stayed away from me as we walked, I was pissed as hell at everyone including myself for being so stupid when I felt a hand on my shoulder, I turned and saw Abraham he simply said "I have flashbacks too"

 **I hope people enjoyed this chapter; I really wanted to get the group out of Terminus and onto the road to Alexandria. I don't necessarily know how I'm going to do the next chapter. Hell I was almost going to have James voted off and be on his own or with Abraham and his group when they left for Washington…but I digress. Now that the brother relationship has been pretty well establish at this point I am looking forward to having James open up more about his past with the group especially now that Abraham is in the group and can help him through his PTSD. I really do hope that people like this story and as always please let me know what can be done to improve the next chapter.**


	7. The seeds of doubt

**Hello everyone I hope everyone's day is going well and I really hope you enjoy this next chapter. I was struggling with this for a while and you will see why. As always thank you to those who have followed this story and took the time to comment it lets me know that I'm doing something right and lets me know that people like the story. Enjoy**

 **Chapter 7 "the seeds of doubt"**

The smell of burning flesh filled my nostrils as I awoke, I was surrounded by debris in hot white sand and the temperature had to be at least one hundred and thirty.

"I can't be back here" I mumbled as I slowly got up, screams and gunfire could be heard all around me as I picked up my gun and looked around. I was back in uniform that much I could be sure, I had a metallic taste in my mouth and I quickly put my hand up to wipe away the blood, the smell of gasoline and burned flesh was overpowering me as I scanned around the battlefield for friendlies I only saw death, bodies everywhere of my fellow soldiers as I made my way around the wreckage.

Somehow through all the gun fire and screaming I heard "James over here" . I looked around and spotted an arm sticking up over an upturned Humvee, I rapidly made my way over only to be quickly blown back from another explosion, I could hear nothing due to the ringing in my ears as I pressed on and made my way over to where the arm had been sticking out.

My hopes dashed as I saw a body sprawled out before me. Pulling out my med kit I ran to the body "You're going to be alright buddy" I said as I rolled the body over revealing Carl's face; shock overcame me as I threw the body back over.

"NO NO NO" I said putting my hands around my head begging for this nightmare to be over.

"you failed us" I heard Ricks voice say, I looked and saw Rick coming towards me with the group all dressed in fatigues,

"you failed us" the group said in a monotone voice. "I…I didn't…I didn't mean too." I replied shakily

"Why'd ya wait so long" I heard a voice say behind me, slowly I turned around and saw the governor sitting upon the destroyed Humvee "wouldn't it of been easier to have let my men do the job" the Governor said pointing at Carl's dead body. Before I could respond "you failed again" a voice called from the crowd, I turned back around "please don't be you" I whimpered as I saw Greg slowly step through the group. "You failed me and Carl, just like everyone knew you would" Greg continued in a monotone voice and then the group descended upon me.

 **Third person**

The sounds of people sleeping could be heard as Rick sat by the fire enjoying both the warmth and quiet as he thought over the last few months. It had been hard no one could say that it hadn't been, Judith had come into the world during a time that hopefully humans will only know of in history books many years from now, his wife Lori had unfortunately left the world long before she was supposed to. She and Rick were supposed to have gone through everything thing together.

But she was gone and now he had to raise their daughter and son without her. He had almost failed having almost lost Carl basically one of the only things that really mattered anymore to the sick bastard "The governor"; everything thing that Carl had been put through because of that caused an anger that burned inside Rick that would never be put out. It had been a miracle that James had come along when he did, Rick definitely had grown fond of the young man and considered him a second son in some regard even though he was different.

The man had kept to himself at the prison choosing a cell block alone far away from the others, hell no one really saw or spoke to him at all the first week and a half except maybe once as he came in from running and then he was back in his cell block. But the weeks rolled on and slowly he came around and started to feel out the place, Carl grew attached and Rick was thankful that someone had taken him under his wing; Rick needed all the help he could get.

Rick's thoughts moved onto the day before and how Carol had wanted to get rid of James almost immediately because of one problem that had happened, Rick admitted that it had been stupid on James's part to do what he did but regardless he was still family and he wasn't going anywhere as far as Rick was concerned. Sounds of a struggle could be heard and Rick jumped to his feet quick to take down whoever it was, it was James. He was tossing and turning on the ground the only thing that he said was "I'm sorry, I don't know what happened" Rick quickly went over to the young man and shook him awake.

When James awoke there was nothing but pure sadness and dread when he looked into Rick's eyes. "Bad dream?" James said nothing and was clearly not one hundred percent certain where he was at. He sat up and looked around and then put his head into his hands and sobbed, "Rick I'm so sorry" "for what" Rick asked puzzled, the man looked confused as he said "I don't know, I just don't know" Rick simply told the young man to go back to sleep and they would talk more in the morning, James simply nodded and went to sleep.

Rick went back over to the camp fire and thought about what just happened, simple night terror nothing to worry about Carl used to have them all the time. Or maybe they were something more.

 **James Point of View**

The sun was rising as I awoke around six o'clock in the morning with my back hurting and my body covered in sweat, it had been a rough night and as I looked

around the camp the nightmare came crashing down and I remembered everything. The seeds of doubt had been planted and it would be awhile to get myself back to normal, "I'm tired" I said to no one as I stood up. I walked over to the remains of a camp fire and sat down next to Abraham I must have looked like shit because Abraham asked me what was wrong, I shook my head I replied "nothing" as I took a sip from my canteen.

 **Three hours later**

I barely registered what was happening as we walked down the road, I looked all around us as our journey continued and slowly I felt myself slipping. Movement in the trees, movement in the bushes, movement everywhere, "you failed us" I shuddered and kept moving. What was going on with me, I just couldn't shake the doubt that was now plaguing my mind I felt as though I was going to snap at any moment. I felt a hand touch my shoulder I looked over at Carl.

"You alright, I've been talking to you for like ten minutes" I nodded and kept walking "I'm going to fail".

"What?" Carl asked, I didn't realize that I had spoken aloud as I looked over at Carl I could tell he was worried.

"Don't worry Carl, I just…I'll be fine" I replied with a fake smile "you don't look fine" Carl said "Just leave me alone Carl, I said i was fine" I said harshly, his look of disappointment said it all and before I could say anything Carl was with his dad in the front of the group and I was in the back alone. I simply sighed and kept walking.

 **One hour later**

We stood outside of an old manor that was well enough hidden that it could still have supplies, "Alright so the plan is James and Carol go into the front, Daryl and I will go through the back and Abraham and Glenn will check the green house while everyone else does watch" Rick said to the small circle of people. We all nodded I went over to Carl who still looked saddened by our last talk.

"Carl look" before I could continue he rolled his eyes and went off with Michonne she simply mouthed "everything ok" I shook my head and mouthed "talk to him" she nodded and I went up to the front door with Carol.

Why I was with her I will never know "Let's just get this over with" she said, "agreed" and then we went through the house.

Everything was going smooth until we reached the kitchen, I don't know why I didn't notice that the floor was weak but before I knew it I was falling. I landed with a thud and looked around the space; there were walkers that much I knew from the smell I looked up and saw Carol looking down the man sixed hole

"can you get out?" I looked down and saw a pretty good cut on my leg and about fifteen walkers closing in "No I got a pretty good cut on my leg and over a dozen walkers" silence, "Shit" I pulled out my gun and looked up to see that Carol had left and I was on my own. I started firing and crawling to where the exit was

"I AM GOING TO KILL YOU CAROL" I continued to crawl till I got to the exit, there was maybe six walkers left but instead of wasting even more ammo and hurting my ears I crawled up the steps.

 **Rick's Point of View**

We had Left the manor in such a hurry that I didn't register that James wasn't with us for a good while, "where is he Carol?" She turned to me and without missing a beat "he fell through the floor in the kitchen and into the basement, the amount of walkers that were down there...trust me he's dead"

I didn't know what to think Carol had done some messed up thangs before such as killing people at the prison to prevent an outbreak but leaving James behind as walker bait.

"swear to me that what you say is true, that he's dead"

She nodded and replied "I swear there's no going back, there is no way he could have survived it." The group stopped they had all heard what Carol had said and seemed dumbfounded by the news that's when I looked over to Carl who like everyone else had heard the whole thing.

"we have to go back" he said matter of factly , I shook my head "No Carl we can't"

"No we have to..he..I...he saved my life" I looked at my son who had grown far beyond his years and saw the loss in his eyes I crouched down in front of him putting a hand on his shoulder "we have to move on Carl, and I know that's not what you want to hear right now"

Carl looked down at the ground as he said "he tried to tell me something before and I wouldn't let him...I" I took Carl in my arms as he started crying and simply told him "I'm sorry Carl"

 **James's Point of View**

It took me a good twenty minutes to crawl out of the basement and the whole time I was wondering, where the fuck is everyone. When I opened the door and went outside I knew why, a herd had rolled through I couldn't tell how many there were but the group had scattered. She did it I'll give her that, she must of told Rick that I was dead at least I half hope she did because otherwise they left me on purpose, she got rid of me like she had wanted. I looked around at the dead around me, "And this is what I deserve"

 **I really hope you guys liked the story and I know it's shorter than the others but the next few chapters are going to be longer. This past week I struggled with whether or not to leave James behind and as you see this is what happened. Truth be told I was listening to the Heavy Rain/Last of Us soundtracks and that put me in a depressing mood and this chapter happened. Don't worry James will get back with the group, this is just something that I felt would happen due to the fact Carol took drastic measures to keep the group safe in the show so why not leave James behind. Please let me know what you thought. And also chapters are going to be coming out weekly now.**


	8. New home

**Hello everyone I hope everyone is doing well just really quick**

 **MaraDixen413-thank you and I'm glad that you found this story as well, my job makes it hard but normally I update every four days to a week**

 **Lovey2-I agree poor James has been through enough and stupid Carol for leaving him behind. Don't worry James and the group will meet up again.**

 **Thank you to everyone else who is following and reading this story it means a whole heck of a lot to know that you enjoy it. And I hope everyone enjoys this chapter.**

 **Before**

The sounds of gunfire played in my head as I sat on the couch, screams could be heard from my friends as bullets ripped through them. My heart was about to burst through my chest as the quiet of the home was overtook by the sounds of war playing on a loop continuously in my head. The sounds were becoming too much so I quickly turned on the TV and flicked it to CNN and watched some mindless news and then a report came on **"Rick Grimes a Sheriff in King county Georgia was shot in the line of duty earlier today by three prisoners who had escaped from a maximum security prison a week ago that spawned a multi-state manhunt, more information will be made available as we learn more"** I turned off the TV and went outside "I don't really want to hear that today" I said as I stepped out into the sunlight.

 **Chapter 8 "new home"**

I could feel a trickle of sweat roll down my face as I held the gun to the two men. They were similar in some ways but different in others, they were both in their late twenties shorter than myself one with long hair the other with short hair and they both sported beards and they were both murderers.

"Hurry up" I said calmly as they loaded the bag with all of their supplies and weapons, they worked quickly and efficiently all the while my weapon did not leave them.

The one with long hair spoke "look man we didn't mean anything by it alright it was just a simple robbery" I flicked the hammer back on my Beretta and asked "you think this is because you tried to rob me?"

Both men nodded and finished putting the last of their belonging into the bag and threw it over to me. I shook my head as I threw two pairs of handcuffs to them and instructed them both to handcuff themselves to two separate areas, "no no no dear people this is because of the dead body on your car"

The two men looked down and I could tell that they were trying to come up with an explanation but couldn't. "Yeah that's what I thought" I sighed

"Look man Negan's not going to like this" one of men said. "Oh I'm sorry I lost a little bit of hearing since this whole Apocalypse thing went down, I could swear that you said a name that means nothing to me" I said as I pointed my gun to both of my ears indicating that I did not hear them.

"It doesn't matter if you know him, you will" the one with the short hair said. "And when I do meet this "Negan" I'll be sure to let him know that his men died by my gun" The men looked down in defeat after I spoke.

I wiped the sweat off my forehead before continuing "so what's going to happen" before I could finish I fired two rounds into both of the men and picked up the supplies and headed out.

The heat was terrible and had to be at least one hundred but I had experienced worse. I looked over the body that was tied to the hood of the men's truck, she was young probably mid-twenties with auburn hair and what had really disturbed me was she never turned, there was a perfect stab wound to the head and she couldn't have been dead for more than a few hours.

"Sorry ma'am" I cut her off the truck and proceeded to check the vehicle for supplies. After searching for a few minutes I discovered that not only was the truck nearly full but there were two full five gallon fuel cans in the back, along with about a weeks' worth of food and water, and also various other equipment.

I set my gear in the back of the cab and looked through the center console for anything useful. I didn't but I did find CDs and that was a good find "Brittney spears" I said as I pulled out the CD, I threw it out the window, I continued to go through the cases "Justin Bieber" I threw that one out the window as well "YOU BOTH HAVE A HORRIBLE TASTE IN MUSIC" I shouted to the dying men in the truck stop and continued searching and discovered a CD that said "road trip 2008" "Take it Easy" by the eagles has to be number one on this" I whispered to myself.

It was number three and as I made my through Virginia I started to relax "Almost home".

After the herd rolled through and I was left behind I tried to catch back up but after fighting and avoiding the herd not to mention my leg injury I couldn't. So after a couple of days of being holed up and deciding what to do I decided that I was going to head home and blow my frickin brains out all over my bedroom wall.

I started walking the long trek back to my home in Virginia and after finding a couple of vehicles that lasted only as long as the gas tank, I was also able to hitch a couple of rides with some nice people. Except the one that wanted to talk about our lord and savior Cthulhu, yeah I jumped out pretty quickly on that one.

I noticed the man walking along the road and normally that wouldn't be odd however the fact that the man was clean shaven and appeared just clean in general surprised me. The man stuck his thumb in the direction he was going and I slowed the truck down.

"Where you headed" I asked. The man had a smile and replied "Home is the current destination" I don't know why I let him into my vehicle other than the fact that my gut was telling me that this was a good guy.

After he got situated he held up his hand "Aaron" I took it "James" I continued to drive and he asked "So where are you going?"

I saw no reason to lie to the man nor tell him the full truth "I've been in Georgia for too long it's time to go home." Aaron nodded and continued "so where's home?"

"I could ask you the same question" the man kept his smile and replied "Fair enough…I'm from a little town called Alexandria" I nodded at his answer "I'm not too far from there "a town called Leesburg"

The man nodded his smile never leaving "so why were you down in Georgia?" I shrugged my shoulders "I had originally went down there to get to the CDC, heard it was safe that there was going to be a cure" I chuckled slightly at the idea "but long story short, no cure so I'm here now"

The man seemed satisfied with my answer "my turn why or how are you so clean?" the man laid back in his seat "the community that I'm at has running water and electricity, along with various other pieces of civilization" "sounds like a good deal" I said.

The man looked over at me and for the first time his smile left and his tone got serious "why did you just pick me up along the road, I mean most people would either have robbed me or just kept going but you didn't" I shrugged my shoulders again and replied "normally…call it a gut feeling or whatever but I can usually tell who a person is from looking at them, and I haven't had positive gut feeling about someone in a long time. The way it's been my gut tells me that someone is bad news but you no bad news."

The man seemed satisfied and almost glad "Look James I know what you did" I gave him a curious look "yeah what's that?"

"At the gas station you killed those two men and for good reason I know who those men were and what they did" I took the information in and responded "so you were following me?" the man nodded and held up a device and I knew he had been listening as well.

I slammed on the brakes and pointed my gun to his head "You have about ten seconds to explain yourself before I blow you brains all over this car". Aaron put up his hands and replied "look I understand that this is disconcerting but just listen" I glared at him and he continued "my group in Alexandria sends me out to recruit new people and bring them back with me"

"Why?" I asked dumbfounded "We need good people to grow and expand, to make a life and a future" I put the hammer back in the up position and said "what makes you think I'm a good person"

"I've followed you for a little while now and even though you were low on food you didn't rob or kill people for what you needed even though you had plenty of opportunity and also I saw those" he said pointing to my dog tags that were sticking out of my shirt, I quickly tucked them in and lowered my gun.

"You'll forgive me if I'm a little skeptical about this magical community since the last one I went to tried to eat me" he pointed to his bag "I have pictures in there of our community, if you'll let me" I motioned for him to do so and a few seconds later I was looking at Polaroid's of a seemingly nice town.

"Where are the people?" "We had problems with development and they came out messed up" I nodded as I continued looking through the photographs and by the end I wanted to see the place for myself, I mean worse case I get killed which I was already planning on doing anyway.

"Ok how far away is it?" Aaron smiled satisfied "about half an hour from here I'll give you directions" I nodded as I turned up the music and started driving.

I could see a gate in the distance and before I knew it I parked the truck and got out with Aaron and looked around. The sound of children playing could be heard as we walked up to the gate "nice fence" I commented.

"we prefer the term wall but we try our best with security but we always could use more people like you" I simply nodded and watched as Aaron knocked and told the guard who he was and soon we walked through the gate. I noticed how the guard carried his weapon and thought "how have you not been taken over yet"

There were eyes on us or I guess me most likely as we made our way through the town. "First things first you need to talk to Deanna so she can get a feel for you" I continued to look around and noticed that no one was in a tower that the town had. "The leader?" I asked and again he nodded and then moments later we were inside a beautiful home.

I felt the breeze of air conditioning for the first time in I don't even know how long and I breathed a sigh of relief as the coolness enveloped me, "feels good right?" Aaron said motioning to the thermostat, I nodded.

"I'm going to go get Deanna, you'll be alright?" I just stared at the house and started walking around admiring the various items and also taking deep breaths of lavender and other scents that filled the area.

 **Deanna**

As Aaron told me about the survivor that he picked up the more excited I became. The very fact that he was someone who was from Virginia and who was military to say the least it was a good combination and not to mention someone who knew about another state and could fill me in on the conditions.

As I walked out the first thing that hit me was the smell but I was used to the survivors lacking in hygiene so I put it aside and shook the young man's hand. I could tell that the man didn't miss much and I could see an intelligence and compassion behind his dark green eyes that I rarely saw in a survivor at first. Most of the time they looked dead.

"James right?" the man went to a sort of form of attention as he shook my hand and responded "yes ma'am". With that simple statement I could tell that he wanted to be back in this life again, most people did and then we made our way into the interview room.

James didn't sit down but instead looked around the room and then out the window. "Do you mind if I record this" James replied with a wave of his hand as he continued to look out the window at the street below. I took that to mean that he was fine with it so I hit record and sat down at a couch opposite of him.

"You can sit if you would like James" slowly James backed away from the window and sat across from me.

I cleared my throat before speaking "James would you mind telling me how you got here or your story if you prefer that term?" James looked around before asking "why?"

"I believe that this community is the start to something much bigger than you or I could understand, future generations will look back to the little town of Alexandria as a beacon of hope that shined through in these dark times, and they will want to know who the people were that lived there".

James simply smiled "Ok…I'll tell you my story"

 **Two hours later**

James had finished telling his story and I could tell he was near tears when he told of his brother and the group that he was with before but had seemed surprisingly calm when talking about ending his own life.

I took a minute to gather my thoughts before continuing "well James you have certainly gone through a lot" I could hear the shaking in my voice realizing that if it weren't for this town that me and my family would have been dead long ago.

"I have a job that I think you'll be perfect for" I said smiling as I got up and went over to a drawer. "If I could give you the chance or if anybody could give you a chance to be a cop again would you take it?" I knew the answer but I wanted it to be recorded.

James nodded blinking away a tear "in a heartbeat"; I nodded and told him to stand up. "Welcome to Alexandria Constable James Law" I said as I handed him the silver badge that I had been keeping for a long time.

The young man took it and stared at the badge "I am not going to lose anyone else under my watch so if I do this you and this town have got to listen to me, your security needs desperate help"

"That's the plan James you tell us what we need to do to improve" Satisfied he slowly put the badge in his pocket and shook my hand "glad to be here ma'am"

 **Third person**

Negan stepped out the vehicle and looked around the abandoned truck stop "you sure this is where they checked in?" he asked Rachel she nodded and took out her pistol as they scanned the area.

"Let's go in and see what we can find" Negan said as he made his way up to the door, Lucille hung limp at his side. Inside he discovered his men were handcuffed and shot, he went up to both shaking his head at the waste of two of his best when one started coughing.

He made his way over to the man "what happened brother" he asked the dying man, "we…underestimated…" "we got to get him…" his companion started Negan put his finger to his lips to silence his companion, "he…was… military…an..youn" the man continued clearly in pain.

"Military and young and male" Negan repeated, the man nodded his head and Negan stood up wound up the bat and swung killing the man in the process. "We are going to find this man and make an example" he said walking out the door with his companion following closely behind him,

"We will find him"

 **Well I hope everyone enjoyed this chapter, please let me know if you did. I feel a new sense of enjoyment now that I moved on the location that by far has been my favorite location out of all the seasons. So honestly I might be publishing chapter 9 quicker than I thought I would so keep an eye out.**


	9. How to save a life

**Hello everyone I hope you all enjoy this next chapter, please let me know. My job is getting crazy so it might be a good week to two weeks till I post again. If anyone has any suggestions on how the story should continue I am interested in your opinions let me know. And as always thank you to those who are following the story, it means a lot.**

 **Trigger warning-mentions of child abuse, I know I have never put a trigger warning and it probably isn't warranted since I won't be overly explicit, and I know this is not the place to put the following and I have never seen anyone put the information on the site but regardless the following information needs to be brought to the attention of people.**

 **If you or someone you know is being abused please call (United States) 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453)-for Europe I found (116 111 - Child helplines) please don't hesitate to call those numbers if something is happening.**

 **Now that my public service announcement is over, enjoy the story.**

 **Before**

The phone rang beside my bed, slowly it registered in my head and I got up and checked the time. "Four A.M" I said glancing at my watch. I answered the phone "This had better be fucking important" I said harshly. "Airman First Class James Law?" a gruff voice responded, it was my commander.

I quickly got out of my bed "yes sir sorry sir" I said almost going to attention. " Relax Airman, there is a serious matter going on"

I flipped on my bedroom light "and what would that be sir" silence "we need you to get to JBA in eight hours" now I was confused "sir why do I need to report to Andrews Air Base" I said referring to the old name of the installation that was no longer used.

"This is a matter of National security understand?" I caught myself nodding into the phone before saying "Understood sir" more silence "you are authorized to bring your family with you, so do it." I took my pack out of my closet and opened up various drawers "what is going on sir?" I said as I started throwing clothes into the pack.

"The apocalypse" were the last word I heard before the line went dead.

 **Chapter 9 "How to save a life"**

My feet hit the pavement as I neared the end of my run, my breathing was heavy and sweat was coming out of every pore as I struggled during the last few miles but I still did them every time. I went along the entire wall looking out for any disturbances, and then I stopped at the main gate.

"Everything alright here Tom?" I asked panting, the middle aged man nodded "a little hot today, wish I could take off this vest" he said motioning to the bullet proof vest that was mandatory for all security personnel to wear while on duty.

"I know it sucks but trying wearing a flak vest, helmet, knee pads, elbow pads and various other pieces of gear in one hundred and twenty degree weather. He nodded "yeah I know James" he said sarcastically. It hadn't been the first time I brought up my military service to these people and I knew it wouldn't be my last.

I was very surprised when I brought up the changes to security at the town meeting that there were maybe three people with military service in the entire community and two of those were elderly Vietnam veterans and the other was only in ROTC…as far as I was concerned the last one didn't count considering the cocky jerk he was.

"Alright keep cool Tom, I'll be out and about in a few" and with a few good byes I continued my run. I had in two weeks been able to get a good bit done in the area of security, routine patrols monitoring the perimeter, the guards wore BDUs and bullet proof vests, all were armed with pistols and rifles and were all trained in basic security procedures.

I smiled a little as I saw the guard tower that now had a sniper and a spotter, today was Aiden the former Army ROTC cadet who didn't want to take orders from someone in the chair force. He lasted about ten seconds against me in a fight and now instead of supply runs he sat in a tower for eight hours.

I continued to run, I did ten miles exactly five for me five for Carl every other day, during the last few minutes the song "hey brother" by Avicii started blasting in my ear buds.

The thoughts started coming back the thoughts that I had worked hard to bury over the last few weeks entered my mind. I was never going to see him again, never see him grow up. I tried to shake the growing thoughts and before I knew it I was on the ground unable to breath.

I quickly threw off my ear buds in a last ditch effort to stop the process but it didn't matter at this point and before I knew it my breakfast was on the ground in front of me and I was lying on the pavement.

It was a good few minutes before the panic attack finally started to fade away when I heard crying; I got up slowly and looked around trying to pinpoint the location. The crying wasn't loud it was just quiet sobs and sniffs and then I stumbled across the kid I was pretty sure was Ron.

I had only met the family once at a small party that the town had and the alcohol that i consumed made it all kind of a blur.

I took a chance "Ron? You ok?" I asked the sound of uncertainty in my voice, the boy turned and that's when I saw the black eye and a couple other bruises. "What happened?" I asked getting closer. "Nothing just leave me alone" he said as he rubbed his eye.

Ignoring him I took another step closer "I can't do that Ron, what happened?" I tried again. The teen looked away contemplating and before I could say anything else the kid took off "HEY RON!" I called out but the kid had already disappeared behind a house and I was left alone standing on the side walk.

My walk home was uneventful but I couldn't shake the image of the scared kid, I half hoped that I was wrong and that it was simply a fight with another kid but my gut was telling me otherwise. I shivered from the air conditioning as I walked in through the door and made my way to the kitchen.

After drinking about two glasses of water and eating an apple I was still worried, the kid's dad was our only surgeon and besides Denise he was the only doctor in our town. But that didn't matter there was also the other kid Sammy and the doctor's wife Jessie that could be in danger, I had to talk to Deanna and let her know…this has to be brought up.

I stepped into the shower and washed quickly and before I knew it I was done and brushing my teeth. I looked at my reflection in the mirror as I brushed my teeth, instead of the long hair that I had before I now sported a high and tight, my beard was gone and now I only had a five o`clock shadow. The rest of my body looked the same as before at the prison but regardless I didn't look the same as before everything that had happened, I looked older far older than the twenty year old that I was.

I finished my routine and changed into Jeans, red undershirt along with my constable police jacket. I wore my gun, badge, baton and handcuffs on my belt because today I didn't know what was going to happen and I would have to be one hundred percent comfortable and ready to do anything.

I walked down the main road of our little town and was stopped by one of my security members "look Darren this is not a good time" I said as I continued walking toward Deanna's house "but sir we have a large group coming our way". I stopped and looked at the man "how many?" I remained calm as he said

"We didn't get an exact number sir; they're all in vehicles coming down the road." As much as it hurt me to say it Ron and his family could wait "alright walk and talk" I said as I followed the man to the main gate.

"not much to say sir, just that I was told to find you" after a few minutes I stood in front of the gate with my hand on the butt of my pistol ready to draw at a moment's notice. I could hear Aaron on the other side but that did nothing to elevate my fears as I called up the sniper.

"Over watch one this is police one, you got visual?" a moment of silence before "that's an Afirm" I scanned the walls and responded "copy keep an eye out and don't fire unless I give the signal" another moment of silence before he confirmed.

I looked around at the people who had gathered and spotted Ron looking over at me, he was with his mother and brother. His black eye was covered up by what appeared to be makeup and the moment that he saw me looking at him he turned his attention back to the gate.

I did as well as the gate started to open, I quickly looked at my watch and saw the time was only one in the afternoon "this is going to be a long day" I mumbled to myself, I took a deep breath trying to keep the butterflies at bay when I heard the sound of a cross bow.

 **Rick's POV**

I stepped out of the vehicle when I heard the sound of children I immediately knew that Aaron had been telling the truth about the community.

I looked over at our rag tag little group and spotted Michonne, her smile said it all as she stood near Carl and Judith. She was happy for the first time in a damn long time, I realized that I had missed that smile.

I then looked over at Carl who finally seemed to be coming back out of his shell, when James had died he had retreated into his head so far as if to protect himself from anymore damage that could come his way. Michonne and I had been able to coax him out once before and then during the failed mission to rescue Beth he went right back into the shell.

Maybe with other kids his age here he could finally go back to the life that I had always wanted for him. To be able to go to school, I mean we couldn't completely forget about the world that was out there or the people that we lost but maybe we could "start living again" as Michonne had put it.

The gate started opening as Daryl shot an animal with his cross bow.

 **James POV**

After the shot I was jumpy but I didn't panic as I looked around and verified that everyone was still alive and uninjured, the gate opened the rest of the way revealing my family.

"Carl, Rick?" I said walking forward the people that had gathered looked at me surprised. I could see that most of the group didn't recognize me at first but I could see Carl as he handed off Judith to Michonne and started running towards me.

Before I knew it I was on the ground wrapped in a bear hug. "I'm so sorry we left you behind, I knew you weren't dead" he said through tears as his arms were wrapped around me tightly I was speechless as tears rolled down my face as well, the rest of the group came through the gate as I stood up.

Rick came over towards me and seemed to have aged ten years since I had seen him last "Look a little different" Rick said as he patted my back before embracing me as well "we thought you were dead"

I nodded "I figured she probably told you something like that" I said as I looked on at the rest of the group as they stared first at me then at the town then back to me.

Carol stayed near the back, I remained calm as I stepped toward her and extended my hand. "if and when you kill or get someone killed in this town, I promise you that you will never see the light of day" I said repeating her threat to me.

She took my hand and simply said "I did what I had to" I shook my head "you tell yourself that" and with that sentence I walked back to where the group had formed.

I shook Aaron's hand "good find man" he simply smiled and replied "I half thought they might have been the same group, the way you described them" I nodded "thank you"

I looked at my family and realized a few people were missing and some new people were there but I would ask Rick about it later. "Alright everyone, you all need to speak to Deanna she'll tell you more about the community than I could, and also she'll give you each an occupation"

The group followed me over to Deanna's the whole time Carl not being more than five feet from me, he told me about some of the stuff that they had done since I had been separated. I couldn't get over how much older Carl seemed as he talked. He was at least fourteen now, maybe a few months shy of fifteen maybe I would be able to see him grow up after all.

 **A few hours later**

Aaron said he would take the group around and show them their homes, I agreed and went to talk to Deanna about what I saw earlier.

I knocked on her office "come in" I heard her tired voice reply. I entered I saw her drinking some coffee from a mug and looking out the window.

"Care for some" I nodded and moments later I was standing before her sipping coffee. "You must be happy" she said referring to the group.

I looked over at her "yeah it seems too good to be true" I admitted to her. "I don't know what it is about you James but someone out there likes you a hell of a lot"

"If you're referring to God, he certainly as a funny way of showing it" we both sipped the coffee, "yeah he definitely does" she admitted.

"I really need to talk to you about one of our citizens" she gave me a look of concern since this is the first time I had come to her about a citizen.

"who's that?" she asked "I think Ron is being abused by his father, and if he is probably Sammy and Jessie are as well"

She took a moment and looked over at me a person who had become not only the second in command for the town but also her confidant "how do you know?"

"I saw him this morning during my run" I said stepping away from the darkening window, "he had a black eye and some other wounds"

She sat back in her chair "could it have been a fight between another kid" I took a moment before responding, I set my cup down "I thought about that and my gut is telling me otherwise"

"I know that you have these feelings about people but we need concrete proof, you know law and order, basic criminal procedure. You know everything you said would happen when you became our Constable"

I sat down at the chair in front of her and nodded "I know and I'm not saying we go against that, but I'm going to need help if I'm going to do this properly"

She nodded "I was going to recruit Rick and Michonne into joining you as Constables" I thought this over for a second before saying "you couldn't have picked two better people"

A smile had formed "I'm usually pretty good with that stuff". I nodded "So do you see much resistance if I go after this guy"

"Well he is really our only doctor, but this is a reason that a lot of people would be generally OK with if you arrested him"

I nodded "yeah I thought so"

 **Two hours later**

The sun had mostly set and the street lights had come on as Deanna and I walked down the road. I carried a football that I had found and was hoping on actually using it. We reached the house Rick and Carl were going to be staying at for hopefully a long time. We both walked up the steps, she knocked and we both waited until Rick opened the door freshly shaven.

We were obviously both shocked by his clean cut appearance "Oh my God You so look like that guy from the movie _Love Actually_ " I said grinning ear to ear. Rick shook his head "never seen it?" I struggled to come up with the actor's name "damn it, I'll think of it later" and then we came in.

We looked around at the packed house "Smart" Deanna said. I had to agree but hopefully they would eventually relax a little bit over the coming weeks.

"Everyone said you gave them jobs, but not me" Rick said. Deanna gave her little smile "that's why we're here" she said pointing to both her and me.

"I've decided to have both you and Michonne join James here as our constables" Rick and Michonne seemed surprised by the offer. "You sure" I nodded quickly and said "both of us agree that you both would be the best choices"

After a few minutes discussion Deanna left "we going to play some football?" Carl asked. I responded "In a minute but we have to do something first" and then I asked Rick, Carl and Michonne to come with me of a patrol of the walls.

I stopped "Alright look I really am going to need all of your guy's help on something" all three stared obviously wondering what it could be.

"We have a problem…a very serious problem"

 **Epilogue "how to save a life"**

Ron sat in his room worried about the cop. There's no way he'd come after dad…right? Ron thought over and over. I mean there would be no proof and it's not like his dad had meant to hurt him right…it was just an accident. Like when his dad broke his arm when he was nine, he didn't mean to twist it that much but it happened.

The sounds of his dad could be heard as he stumbled up the stairs and eventually into his room, "hearddd youuu taaalked to thattt cop" his dad said slurring his words as he talked.

"no I didn't say anything" Ron said trying to keep the panic out of his voice, his dad said nothing as he walked over to his son and grabbed his neck.

"Yooou surrre bout thaaat" Ron could smell the alcohol from his dad's hot breath. Ron simply nodded as he felt his dad's fingers squeezing into his neck harder.

"I belieeeve yooou" he dad said barely able to stand as he picked his son up from his desk and then proceeded to punch Ron in the stomach. His son doubled over in pain as the next blow came and then another. "Whhaaats ruullee one" his dad said holding up one finger.

Coughing Ron finally responded "don't….talk...to… cops" his dad seemed satisfied with the answer as he left his room and left him alone.

Ron felt the tears roll down his face as he shook from fear as he eventually crawled up his bed and laid down fighting the pain.

He looked out his window and saw James and the new boy Carl outside Carl's house throwing a football back and forth. Maybe I should talk to him. He thought as he simply watched them till he fell asleep.

 **So I hope you all enjoyed this chapter, I really enjoyed writing this one. Please leave feedback and let me know if you enjoyed it as well. I am proud to say that the group has been reunited and I hope it stays as such.**


	10. Let the Good Times Role

**Hello everyone it is good to be back writing, from now on I will publish weekly instead of every four days to a week. As always a big thank you to those who are following the story and enjoy the story. It means the world.**

 **Quick question I am currently debating whether or not to do a sort of reboot of this story I of course will still leave the original up and continue to make updates as I will basically the same story but with some different turns and twists that I wanted to do but I could only pick one way to go. Also it will be rated M with more of James's past and how he ended up with the group, and will show a lot more situations from the show ect. Please let me know if this is something that anyone would be interested in**

 **Guest-thank you for your input and I agree with you on Rosita she was definitely my top choice.**

 **And thank you MSJackson53 for letting me know what you thought.**

 **Trigger Warning-mentions and depictions of Child abuse and suicide.**

 **If you or someone you know is being abused please call (United States) 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453)-for Europe I found (116 111 - Child helplines) please don't hesitate to call those numbers if something is happening.**

 **And also please if anyone of you are depressed or thinking of harming yourselves please don't hesitate to call this number 1-800-273-TALK (8255) (United States) and I couldn't find one for Europe but please visit this website .info/resources/Crisis_Centres/ and you can get the numbers that you need remember you are not alone.**

 **During the outbreak**

"Reports of a new infection that is said to have body temperatures rising in the hundreds is sweeping the nation, the Center for Disease Control is urging people to contact authorities if you witness someone with the symptoms that were described before, they are also telling everyone to remember to wash your hands and stay home if you feel sick, in other news riots have continued in Los Angeles and other major cities due to an increase of police related shootings of unarmed individuals" I turned the radio to a random country station and sat back in my seat.

It was starting…

 **Chapter 10: Let the good times role**

 **James's POV**

The sun was high in the sky as I worked on the car. It was a brand new…well it was a year and a half old but it was the newest car available, it was a dark red dodge charger and it was all mine.

Granted since I had found it during my first run at Alexandria it had been a pain in the ass to get parts for but it was all worth it and soon it would be complete.

Zac Brown band played in the background as I worked alone in my garage, thanks to Rick and Michonne today was the first day off I had had since coming to Alexandria and I was enjoying the free time.

"Nice ride" I jumped up and turned around startled by the intruder.

"Holy shit Rosita" I said as I leaned against the car, she was dressed in jeans and a green t-shirt with her signature hat that I don't think I ever saw her without "didn't anyone teach you it's not nice to sneak up on people"

She let out an amused laugh as she came closer and with a slight shrug of her shoulders "I guess not".

I noticed that she seemed nervous and a moment of silence was shared before she said "I just wanted to say that I'm sorry for the way things happened...you know with the whole leaving you behind"

I gave a shrug of my own and replied "it's in the past, and I mean what could you guys do with the heard and all"

She looked at me "what would you have done, I mean if it were Rick or Carl or anyone of the group wouldn't you have gone back"

I paused for a moment thinking over what she had said and we both knew the answer "It doesn't matter what I would have done what matters is right now…is this town"

She nodded somewhat agreeing but also still holding some guilt, "hey I heard you're our new medical assistant" I said changing the subject.

A slight smile formed as she leaned against the wall, "yeah it's going to be interesting and I have a lot to learn but hopefully I can help out"

"well regardless I know you'll do fine and if a patient gets out of hand you can always just knock em out, so that will be fun"

She laughed again and something inside of me wished she wouldn't stop, "Thanks James" she said giving my hand a tight squeeze.

I could smell her perfume as her eyes looked at mine then there was a knock at the door, I looked over to see Rick standing unsure if he should have interrupted.

"Bad time?" he asked, we both shook our heads stepping away from each other and Rosita said "well I should get back"

I nodded my head "Yeah I guess I should get back to…" I pointed toward the car and before she left she asked "you going to the party tonight" I gave a slight nod and then she was gone.

Rick gave me a slight look of discouragement "Don't say anything Rick" I said turning my attention back to the car.

"You really think it's smart to pursue her…you know since she's with Abraham" Rick asked with a slight hint of concern

I responded back "do you think it's smart to pursue Jessie"

Rick was silent at the mention of her name I looked up from the car and stated "You aren't really being subtle about it"

"Touché" he said with reluctance before continuing "So what exactly are you planning on doing with Peter when we arrest him"

I thought over the question before responding "the way we do things here is banishment, you know blindfold them play loud music in their ears and twenty miles later we leave em"

"I'm going to tell you right now that's not going to work" Rick said his demeanor changing to one of seriousness.

I looked up from the car and looked at the man next to me "Why because it didn't work for you?"

Rick seemed surprised "Carl told me about Randall…you think that because you failed the one time you tried it that it won't work here"

Rick took a minute to respond "look we can't afford to have him go and tell anyone about Alexandria…what if Peter is able to get enough people and they come back and try to take this place over"

"It doesn't matter what could happen Rick what your suggesting is murder…we are not killing the man because he beats his wife and kids no matter how much we might want to"

Rick stepped away from the car and looked around the garage "this isn't the old world James…it might look the same, taste the same and smell the same but it's just a forgery…it's still the new world out there" Rick said pointing beyond the garage door and past the wall

"Yeah but it doesn't have to be…I mean for God sake Rick you were a Sheriff don't you want that world back"

"It doesn't matter what I want the only thing that matters is keeping this town and its people safe no matter the cost"

I nodded and turned my attention back toward the car "I'll see you at the party tonight Rick, and I really hope you change your mind" and with that Rick left.

 **Later that night**

The small party that Deanna had set up was going along well. It was customary for the people of Alexandria to come together to celebrate each new arrival with a house party…what better way for people to get to know each other.

Some music was playing in the background as I talked to Abraham and Rosita. "Kinda nice right?" I said taking a sip of my drink.

They both nodded and sipped their own drinks "I'm going to be honest it's still a little hard to believe." Abraham said looking around the room.

I couldn't believe how good she looked with her hair down and ok Abraham is staring at me so I should probably say something.

"You'll get used to it eventually" taking a sip from my drink "Well as used to it as you can"

The sound of ice hitting the bottom of a glass, the sound of laughter, and the conversations of everyday things filled the room as we continued to talk. Judith was being passed around to various people who hadn't seen a baby in quite a while.

I saw the Anderson family step into the room and they were quickly in front of Rick, "Excuse me for a moment" and with that I walked calmly across the room and shook hands with Peter and Jessie.

"I see that you met my friend Rick" I said taking Jessie's hand. "Oh yeah we actually met when they first got here" she said.

I nodded and took Peter's hand "and of course peter it's always good to see you as well" the man simply nodded and winced slightly as I grabbed his hand forcibly and tightly.

I released his hand upon seeing the slight pain in his eyes; he quickly clutched it with his other hand but said nothing.

Their youngest Sam asked his mom if Rick could get a stamp and soon Rick was sporting the letter A on his hand

They talked amongst themselves for a few minutes and I listened along simply nodding before asking

"you know I was actually thinking about starting a little survival type program here, you know simple things such as how to start a fire, where to look for food excreta and I was hoping on asking Ron if he would be interested, but he didn't come tonight, why's that?" I asked the parents

Jessie quickly responded "Oh yeah that would be great…" she looked to her husband before continuing "it's just that he's a little under the weather with a headache so we decided it would be best for him to stay home" sip of the wine and no eye contact when she finished the sentence.

I nodded "make sure he gets rest, those head injur….headaches can be horrible" I took a drink and watched for a reaction. Some worry across Jessie's face as she looked down.

Before Peter could say something, a commotion could be heard across from us and soon Sasha was running out the room.

I quickly followed her out onto the street "Hey Sasha" I called out to her she slowed and soon stopped near the wall. She put her hand on it as if testing to see if it was real as I stepped beside her.

"I'm sorry that I left the way I did…it's just" I knew what she was going through "that everyone is living like there isn't any danger or people dying just beyond the borders and it drives you crazy as you remember your friends"

She nodded and took a deep breath "You felt that way when you got here?"

"I felt that way when I came back from Afghanistan, after years of a war the people back home just didn't care anymore and seemed to live their lives without regard to those overseas"

I paused remembering the first time home "and things that used to have importance such as parties or video games or what you were eating for dinner didn't really matter when your friends weren't even alive anymore"

"Oh Christ I'm sorry James, I forgot I guess" I put up a hand to stop her "the point is...I get it and it will take a long time to get over it."

"So when did you get over it, I mean you seemed perfectly fine in there"

I put my hand on the wall and felt its cool metal "Who said I ever got over it…when I was in there with everyone I was thinking about the people that I lost not only from the walkers but the people that I lost during deployment"

She brushed a tear and took a deep breath and took her hand off the wall "You going to come back to the party?" I asked

She shook her head "I think I'm going to stay out here for a while"

I nodded and started to walk back to the party "hey James" I turned back towards her "Thank you"

I gave a slight smile and continued my walk and then I saw Carol walking quickly and quietly toward the armory.

 **Carol's POV**

I moved silently into the room and looked around, all of the town's weapons were in this room that I stood in and the only thing that stopped me from getting in was a window with a simple lock.

"All that security outside and nothing for these" I thought as I looked around and let my eyes adjust to the darkened room and then proceeded over to the trunk where the pistols were kept.

Opening the trunk I couldn't believe that they didn't keep better track of some of these weapons better I mean they were just thrown in there.

"Nine millimeters are on the bottom, .45 calibers are on top"

I cursed under my breath as I stood up and looked at James standing in the door way. "You know you could have just asked" the young man stated with a shrug.

"Would you really give me these weapons if I had asked?" James said nothing but moved forward till he was inches away.

"I assume that these are for Rick?" James asked pointing to the guns that were before us.

I nodded and replied "we need to be prepared if and when something happens; your security forces and the walls will only protect us for so long"

Silence followed and I could feel the tension in the room "the only reason that they took your guns is because they don't trust you" James said this as he took a pistol out of the box and handed it to me

"However I'm not them" I stared at the pistol before me and couldn't believe the offer.

"Even after all I did to you your still going to give me the guns"

"Look what happened back then…it doesn't matter, what matters now is that we protect this town so yes i'm giving our group some guns"

I took the gun from his hand and turned my attention back to the box, "Lock up when you leave" James said as headed for door.

I hesitated for a moment and then decided to tell the truth "Wait James". The young man turned and stood waiting for what I was going to say.

"The reason why I was so hard on you back when everything happened…it was because you reminded me of what I could have been"

James took a moment "because of your husband?"

"To be honest I was just like you or who you were rather, and I could have just as easy had a flashback or something similar and gotten a bunch of people killed"

More silence "But I can see now that I was wrong about you James and I just wanted to say that I'm sorry."

James simply smiled and replied "talk to Rick tonight and tell him that I sent you and want your help on the matter…he'll know what I'm talking about" and with that he was gone

 **Carl's POV**

I walked down the street after the party trying to find Enid unsuccessfully I might add. The only sound was the low hum of street lamps and crickets and then I saw him.

It was Ron stumbling down the street aimlessly and apparently injured, I looked around the deserted street before I hurried over to him "Hey Ron, what's going on man?" I asked as I put my hand on his shoulder.

Ron's reaction was as if I had shot him, he stumbled on the ground putting his hands up to defend himself from blows that wouldn't come at least not from me.

His face was bruised; his arms showed cigarette burns and God only knew what else had happened. "I'm sorry please don't hurt me"

"Hey man it's me Carl…I'm not goin to hurt you" I tried to keep my voice calm and reassuring to my friend as I looked around for anyone to help…there wasn't.

Ron wasn't shaking anymore instead he was starting to stare off into the distance and I did the only thing I could think of.

"Alright let's go man" I said as I picked him up and slung his arm around my shoulders. "Where… are… we… going?" he asked

"Somewhere safe"

 **James's POV**

I put on sweatpants and a plain grey t-shirt and walked from the bathroom and proceeded into the kitchen and grabbed a beer.

I wasn't second guessing what I had done and I could understand a little bit why Rick wanted the guns but I just wished that he had asked me first. I started heading toward the back deck when I heard a knock on the front door.

I glanced at my watch and saw that it was just after midnight, thinking it was Rick or Carol I stepped toward the door as the knocking persisted.

I opened the door and saw Carl and Ron standing before me, Carl having the older boy draped over him attempting to support him the best he could.

"This is getting bad James" Carl said as I moved aside and let the boys in.

"Place him on the couch" I said as I set the beer down and proceeded to look over the injured teen. He was having trouble breathing that much was evident, not to mention the burns and other injuries.

"Carl go and get Rosita" Carl stood there frozen "wh…what about…"

"CARL GO AND GET ROSITA AND TELL HER TO GET A MEDICAL BAG!" the teen finally comprehended and ran out the door.

The kid in front of me was barely conscious but I took a risk "Ron who did this to you?"

Ron took a few minutes and I thought he had slipped into unconsciousness but he finally responded "my…da…d"

There was our evidence we got him "alright Ron we'll get through this" I tried to reassure the teen.

A few minutes later Carl and Rosita came in through the door, she had the bag and I could tell by her expression that she was nervous.

"This is beyond me James…you have to get Peter" she said setting down the bag

"Who do you think did this?" I asked her and then she understood "Oh fuck"

I nodded "yep…and I know that you think this beyond you but you were military right?" she nodded "Remember your training and I'll remember mine…I mean one of us has to remember something right?" I said partially joking she nodded and took a deep breath and shortly after we were working hard to save Ron's life.

 **A few hours later**

We walked into the kitchen and stripped off our gloves and tossed them into the garbage. "Want a beer?" I said going to the fridge.

"You got anything stronger?" Rosita asked sitting at the table.

Without missing a beat I continued past the fridge and opened up the cupboard that contained bourbon and soon we were sipping the drink in silence.

Carl was unwilling to leave his friend and sat out in the living room and would let us know if anything changed.

"Holy shit" I said exhausted, she simply nodded and drained her glass and then refilled it. "If anything I think you're definitely qualified for the job" I said lightheartedly

She still looked stressed "shit James what are we going to do…I'm sure his dad is out looking for him"

"Maybe he is maybe not but right now that is not my concern…tomorrow I'll get a statement from Ron and then Peter is going to be arrested"

"You think it's going to be as simple as that?" I nodded and responded "Yeah…I mean kinda"

She smiled and took another drink and shortly after we were both asleep at the table.

 **Third Person**

Ron awoke to the sun beaming through a window…that he didn't recognize. He looked around at the room that he was in and again he didn't recognize it, he had fresh bandages on his wounds and he also had an IV pumping what appeared to be water into his veins.

He pulled out the IV and slowly got up surveying his surroundings, sounds could be heard from what he assumed was the kitchen and slowly made his way to the door.

The smell of pancakes and various other breakfast foods greeted his nostrils and he realized how hungry he was. He opened the door and saw the man he definitely didn't want to be seen with.

James had his back to him as he cooked at the stove along with Carl who was helping with something else.

James turned his attention to the teen standing in the doorway "how are you feeling Ron?" he asked and Ron could tell that he actually meant it.

"I feel like crap" James nodded as he flipped a pancake and motioned for him to sit. He did unable to resist the smell of food and not to mention he felt light headed from the simple trek into the kitchen.

"Carl go and get your dad and Rosita" Carl obeyed and quickly left but not before telling his friend that he was glad he was alright.

James sat down across from Ron handing him a plate of food "Hope you don't mind if they join us" James said taking a drink of coffee.

Ron did mind but didn't say anything as he grabbed a couple of Pancakes and was soon chowing down. "Do you remember anything from last night?"

The teen shook his head "Well Carl found you stumbling in the street and brought you here and Rosita and I saved your life" Ron said nothing and stopped eating.

"And before you passed out I asked you who did this to you, do you remember what you said?" Ron's thoughts came crashing down and he did remember but shook his head and set his fork down his hunger suddenly leaving and guilt taking over.

"Look Ron you don't have to be afraid of him anymore, we will do everything to make sure that he can't hurt you or your mom or your little brother.

James sounded reassuring but Ron could only think of what his father was going to do if he found out what he said and the guilt overtook him as Ron thought of what he did to the family.

He spotted the cutlery on the counter, "hey Ron you ok?" James asked. "No my ah…my head is killing me" he said trying to come up with something to get James to leave the room.

"Just wait here ok, I'll be back in a few minutes with something"

James got up and left and then seconds later Ron had the knife in his hand and put it against his wrist. The guilt was too much it would be better for him to just end it now, maybe then they wouldn't get his Dad and then the family wouldn't be destroyed I mean his dad always said he was worthless so why not just end it now.

He could hear James approaching and he closed his eyes and he cut his wrist feeling the cool steel slicing into his flesh and felt the blood flow, he cut the other one and shortly after he was on the ground, the dark red liquid pooling around his body. Everything that Ron had ever experienced or was going to experience was leaving him in a red river that showed no signs of slowing.

Thoughts flooded him and all of the things that had seemed important to the sixteen year old, playing video games with Mikey, music, movies...it didn't matter. The dark dark red pool was now bigger and the darkness was starting to close in as Ron took another breath and shivered.

All of the important things from his life now came into focus the little things like sitting around the table for dinner, his mom giving him a haircut, his brother annoying him about playing catch that for some reason Ron always had something more important to do.

It was harder to concentrate now as another thought entered Ron's mind "I AM AFRAID" he was afraid of what came next...would it be darkness or something worse...Ron took one more breath and all the pain...the lying about where the bruises had come...the arguing between his parents that would shake the walls...it was gone...no more worries...no..more...a slight smile formed across Ron's face as a shadow appeared over him...and Ron Anderson felt for the first time in his life...free

 **Well everyone I hoped you like this chapter, i'm a little afraid that i rushed it but please let me know if you liked it and what you thought in general. And have a good one.**


	11. The unveiling

**Hello everyone, sorry that it took so long but work got a little crazy and I started work on my NCIS fanfiction which is currently up right now if you care to check it out. Thanks as always to those who followed/favorite the story it lets me know that I'm doing something right.**

 **Anyway please enjoy and let me know what you thought.**

 **The Unveiling**

I sat freshly showered in the den of my new home and stared at the laptop "This is stupid" I said into the little camera that was recording. I sighed and remembered what Denise had said to do.

"My name is James Law I was a Military Police Officer for the United States Air Force before everything…happened" I paused for a moment "By the way if any advanced Aliens are watching this…I worked for the guys who stole your space ship back in Roswell…so no hard feelings right"

I let out a small chuckle as I continued "the psychiatrist here said it might be helpful to record a video of my day to day activities as a sort of journal to which I corrected her and told her it's a Vlog and it doesn't really matter what it's called just know I'm doing it"

I cleared my throat and took a sip of water "I have been in the town of Alexandria for two days" I said holding up two fingers. "Their leader Deanna who I will mention is fantastic made me Constable of this little slice of heaven and I have to admit it feels pretty nice being a cop again"

"I've been going through the town and I would like to say that their doing….horrible. Not so much as in the people or their supplies but when it comes to security this town is seriously lacking"

Another sip of water "However they seem for the most part wanting to change and be able to defend their selves…kinda"

I looked into the ice water that I was holding and looked outside to see couples walking past and children playing in the street and I let out a long sigh as I looked into the camera one more time.

"….this is going to be the start of something good"

 **James's POV**

"God Damn it, no." I dropped the bottle of aspirin on the ground and rushed over to the figure on the floor.

I checked the wounds as I tried to talk to the unconscious boy "Ron come on you have to stay with me" he had cut his wrists deep and the steady river of blood showed no signs of slowing anytime soon.

Without thinking I ran into the living room and grabbed the medical bag and quickly ran back to Ron's side as I dumped its contents onto the wet floor and quickly found the item I was looking for.

I wrapped the bandages tightly around the open wounds and slowly but surely the crimson finally stopped flowing; Ron however wasn't out of the woods yet.

He was pale and his breathing was shallow, I was no doctor but this kid was going to need blood fast, I quickly put Ron into a fireman's carry and ran down my porch to the Clinic.

 **The clinic**

I had run into Rick, Carl, and Rosita on the way to the Clinic and they joined me as I burst in through the wooden door into the town's medical center where thankfully Denise was sitting drinking coffee and not Peter.

The sound of her coffee mug shattering filled the small space as I set Ron down on the bed, "hey Denise I know your just a psychiatrist but Ron really needs blood right now"

She got up from her desk and started going to the door "I'll go and get Dr. Anderson" I quickly grabbed her shoulders as Rick stood in front of the door.

"No you're not going to get Dr. Anderson…right now you're going to give Ron some blood…got it" I said in a surprisingly calm voice.

"Look I haven't done this since med school…not to mention I don't know what blood type…"

I cut her off "Rosita do you guys have any blood being stored here" Rosita shook her head and gave a crisp "No" before returning her attention to getting Ron's vitals

I turned back to Denise who by this point seemed to be very much in shock as she said "I couldn't give him blood even if I knew his type…we need to get Dr. Ander…"

I cut her off again and took off my Jacket "well it's a good thing that I'm the universal donor then isn't it"

 **One hour later**

I stood outside the room with Rick; I took a sip from the orange juice that I had been given as I awaited what Rick was going to say.

"You think maybe is now is the time to reconsider" Rick said looking out a window at the street below

I paused and thought over the question "Rick we can't jus…"

"Why not James this man is killing his family, this right here is only the beginning and if we don't act now and find a permanent solution he will come back"

"We don't know that Rick, we can't just play Minority Report and assume what is going to happen"

Rick hesitated and appeared that he really didn't want to tell what was on his mind but slowly he began "alright let me tell you about a case that I worked on about five years ago"

I was silent as he talked "This woman comes into our town with her three kids, she got a job at a diner, her kids went to school and did reasonably well and her oldest and Carl were friends. So one day she stops in the station and told us that her ex had gotten out of jail down in Florida and could possibly be coming up to King county."

Rick took a deep breath before continuing "We had her fill out a restraining order and told her not to worry that we would take care of it. I personally thought that nothing was going to happen that she was just over reacting…two weeks later her husband down in Florida came to their home and killed them"

I looked at the man before me speechless as he finished his story "and I just want to make sure that if and when Peter comes back and kills his family that you have no regrets about not doing something to stop it."

The silence was broken a few minutes later as the front door opened revealing Enid and Carl "Carl said that Ron was hurt…is it ok that we see him" we both nodded and the two teenagers were soon in the room with Ron, and Rick and I were alone again.

"I'll think about it"

 **Anderson Residence**

I knocked for a third time and for the third time I waited for someone to answer, I looked down at my shirt that was covered with Ron's blood and quickly zipped up my Jacket that as far as I could tell was blood free.

Another minute went by before the door finally cracked open revealing Sam.

I crouched down to his level and tried my best to smile as I pulled out my badge. "Hey Sam, remember me"

The boy nodded his head as his eyes got bigger and filled with what I assume was fear, "are your Mom and Dad home?"

"Yeah there in the kitchen…is this about Ron" Sam's fear seemed to be replaced by sadness as if expecting the worst.

I heard Peter ask who was at the door and the fear was right back in Sam's eyes I had to act fast and get him out of the house

"Ok Sam I need you to do something very important, ok" he nodded and I glanced behind him and heard the sound of someone approaching.

"go to the Clinic, your brother is there…he is fine but right now I need you to go there and help Denise ok"

Sam looked back into the house before turning back to me "What about my Mom"

"She'll be right behind you alright bud" Sam looked back one more time as the footsteps got closer and then he went past me and toward the Clinic.

I stepped into the home and quickly ran into Jessie a look of relief and terror came over her "Where's Ron?"

"Listen he is at the Clinic right now and he's stable…I just sent…"

She quickly interrupted "what do you mean he's stable, what happened?"

"Jessie there isn't time, you need to leave" I pleaded as I heard the sound of a chair scrapping along the floor.

"No, what the hell happened and why…is that blood?" She pointed as I looked down and saw that there was a small spot on my Jacket that I hadn't noticed

I put everything on the table and decided to tell her "Alright the truth is your son is fine however…earlier today he tried to kill himself"

She put her hand over her mouth and blinked away the tears as put herself against the wall in order to support herself, "I should have known…I wanted no I tried to stop what was happening, I tried for us to be a good family for him…but" she now slid down the wall unable to stand anymore from the grief as she started sobbing.

I put my arm around her "Listen none of that matters right now, right now your son needs you and Sam to be there for him, so go" I knew it was too late to get her out when I heard him behind us.

"What the hell is going on" Peter was now in the hallway and appeared to be completely sober, and ready to go to work.

We both stood up with Jessie somewhat composed herself and who was the first to speak "Peter, Ron's at the Clinic "

He looked at both of us and actually seemed hurt "What…what happened, I need to" he started for the door and I put my hand on him to stop him

"You are not going anywhere near him" Peter looked at me with tears in his eyes "James what are you talking about, it's my son…I have to go"

"No Peter you're not going to, you've done more than enough to "help" your son, you and I are going to talk to Deanna and then hopefully you won't be here anymore"

The hurt and concerned father that stood before me seconds ago was now gone and replaced by the devil himself as he shook my hand off him and stepped back.

"Do you think that you actually have authority here? Why because some old bitch gave you a badge…no you are not stopping me from going to see my son" he attempted to go past me and with that I put my hand on him again.

"No you aren't…we are walking to Deanna's and settling this" Jessie seemed to be readying herself for what was coming and before I knew it Peter threw a sucker punch.

I stumbled into the wall as Peter came at me again this time I blocked the punch and threw two of my own which landed perfectly on his temple. It barely seemed to faze him however as he tackled me and soon we were in the living room on a destroyed coffee table.

I gave a swift kick in the groin and got the man off of me and got up "come on Peter, is this really what you want?"

My question was met with another tackle after which I found myself surrounded by broken shards of glass and small amounts of blood everywhere.

I got up and stumbled down the steps in an attempt to get some ground between us, a small crowd had gathered around and was watching the fight take place.

The world was spinning as I saw Peter start to get up and that's when I drew my gun.

I felt woozy from the lack of blood that I had given; and the fighting really wasn't helping me at the moment.

Peter looked around at the crowd "Friends listen to me; this "Policeman" that Deanna hired just came into my home and tried to kill me." The crowd looked at me and then back to Peter.

It was my turn to speak and I wanted this very badly to not go wrong "everyone please listen to me, this man before you is a snake in the grass. He has been abusing his wife and children for years"

I looked and saw Rick and Michonne running down the road but a lot could happen before they got here. I scanned the crowd and saw a bunch of confused faces as they didn't know what to believe as their perfect reality came crashing down.

Before either of us could speak another voice spoke up from the crowd "It's true" Peter and I turned and saw Jessie step forward.

"Everything that James said is true, Peter has been abusing us for years and it's time that he leaves"

Silence filled the air as Peter and I stared at each other the crowd seemed to back up as Rick and Michonne were beside me as I spoke "Peter Anderson, you are under arrest for assault and child abuse" I turned to Rick "Would you mind cuffing him because I'm pretty sure I'm going to pass out"

 **Deanna's office**

"Rick we are not going to kill him" Deanna said before sitting at her desk. The tension in the room was so thick that you could cut it with a knife.

I cleared my throat "Ma'am I propose that I take him the twenty miles out, so that way there is no chance of…well anything bad happening"

"And I'm telling you that this is a serious mistake, we cannot afford to let him loose" Rick said with certainty.

"Rick I get it, but it doesn't matter what could or could not happen, this town is the start of something big and I don't want to look back twenty years down the road and think of the man we executed for a possibility.

Rick shook his head "We can't take any chances…that twenty years down the road…it's a fantasy unless we take steps now to ensure it."

The silence was deafening as Rick and I stood before the woman who would decide the fate of Peter. And after a good five minutes she finally responded.

"This has got to be one of the hardest decisions I have had to make since…in a long time, however no matter the severity we still have a system. James you take Peter twenty miles out like you said before and leave him…no killing…just leave him"

We both stood in front of her "Is that understood" we both nodded and left

"I hope you know what you're doing" Rick whispered before heading out the door.

"Me too"

 **Twenty miles later**

I walked behind Peter until we got to a small clearing and I told him to get on his knees. "Look you can't just leave me here with no supplies…I'll die"

Rick's story rang in my ears as I made the decision "Peter you are a grade A sociopath I don't really care if you die out here" thunder rolled in the distance as I pulled out my pistol and started screwing in a suppresser.

"However I am not going to risk you coming back to Alexandria or possibly hurting someone else out here."

Peter looked at the in my hand gun and the realization came over him that this was the end "Please don't do this…" as I slowly walked behind him and aimed the gun at the back of his skull. And I froze.

The gun felt heavier and heavier as the seconds ticked by and soon I was sure I was holding a hundred pound brick instead of my little Beretta. My heart pounded in my ears as I stood staring at the crying man before me.

"Ok Ok I get it, I learned my lesson, I won't hurt them….i swear" he was struggling against the cuffs that had dug into his skin and were now bleeding

I wiped away the sweat that had accumulated in my eyes as I put my second hand on the gun in order to keep it level.

Why was this so hard I had killed people before….then a thought dawned on me but those people were killers and was either going to kill or seriously hurt someone or you. A breath escaped me in the cool air as I realized that this was my first kill were the man wasn't a direct threat.

My mind flashed images of a badly beaten Ron being brought on my doorstep…the hours trying to save his life…Him lying in a pool of his own blood….the image of Sam at the door terrified when his Dad spoke.

I felt a drop of rain fall onto a section of exposed skin and then another as I stood in that field with a truly terrible human being, and I couldn't pull the trigger.

He isn't a threat…my mind told me…you are going to kill a man who is no threat… Ron in the clinic with my blood being pumped into his arm. Jessie on the floor sobbing as she found out about her son.

"For the love of God don't do this" Peter begged as one of his hands started to slip through the cuff.

I shook my head freeing myself of the thoughts and before they could enter again I pulled the trigger.

 **Epilogue**

"I did the right thing" I said to myself as the hot water from my shower cascaded off my back, _you didn't._

I tried shaking the thought that continued to linger as I took a sip from the bottle of wine that was next to me. _You didn't do the right thing_

"Shut up" I whispered. _You executed him._

"Shut UP" my voice was getting louder; _you murdered him in cold blood._

"SHUT THE FUCK UP" I screamed inside the small enclosed space…silence followed and I briefly considered that I had won against the voice in my head when I heard the breaking of glass.

I kept my cool as I slowly stepped out of the shower, put on a pair of shorts and grabbed my pistol from the counter.

I heard the sounds of someone rummaging through my kitchen as I made my way down the hallway soaking wet, hoping that I wouldn't have to chase anyone. I stepped around the corner and peered through the open door into the kitchen where I could see a figure looking around in my fridge.

Slowly I entered the room with my gun drawn and said calmly "Step away with your hands in the air" the figure didn't seem surprised by my voice and did what he was told to do.

The room was dark with only the soft glow from the fridge illuminating the small figure in front of me, "Turn around and keep your hands up"

Slowly the figure turned until finally I was face to face with Greg.

The sound of my gun clattering on the ground echoed around the room as I stared at my dead brother, "You can't be..What are you doing here" I rubbed my eyes to make sure that I was truly seeing him.

It was Greg alright, same color hair that was matted with sweat, his eyes that were lifeless now, same scars and burns that he had received during his last day alive.

"Hey big brother long time no see"

I stumbled back against the wall and put my head into my hands completely unsure of what was real as Greg poured some milk into a glass before him and took a sip.

"It's time to go home James"

 **I hope you all enjoyed it and let me know what you think, have a good one.**


	12. Old World secrets

**Hello everyone I'm sorry for the inconstancies with publishing new chapters I've just been kind of depressed lately and it's hard to keep up with everything.**

 **A big thank you to Msjackson53 for your continued support it means a lot. And if anyone reading this hasn't checked out her Walking dead stories I highly recommend that you do.**

 **Please leave reviews and let me know what you think, it's always appreciated.**

 **Enjoy**

Greg let out a moan as I covered him with a blanket "It's going to be ok, it's just a small fever" I didn't know what to do, this was an illness not some enemy that I could face head on.

To make matters worse there was no medicine, which meant no pain killers left and even if we were near a town I couldn't leave Greg alone.

Another round of hacking and dry heaves and Greg was back into the fetal position, "I wish mom and dad were here" I could tell that it was hard for him to breathe.

"I know buddy" I tussled his hair "hey but soon we'll get to the coast and we'll get a boat and then we can get out of here"

It was stupid to try but the kid had never been to the beach or seen the ocean I had to keep something going. I saw a hint of a smile "how much further" another cough.

"Not much further...and then we can be free"

 **Chapter 12 "old world secrets"**

Amarillo by morning drifted from the speakers and surrounded me as I made the dreary journey back home. The song seemed fitting for the drive so I turned up the dial and sank further down in my seat as the scenery passed me by.

The windshield wipers were desperately trying to keep my view clear but it was still difficult given the current conditions.

Peter flashed through my thoughts and my breath was caught in my throat as I tried to shake the thought away. I shouldn't have pulled the trigger, I thought as the car hummed along.

Everything would've been fine if I had just let him go. I saw a figure up ahead holding out his thumb, I sighed and continued on past Greg.

I wasn't surprised anymore when I saw him along the road; he had been following me the entire journey he could wait till I got home.

I turned up the music another notch and took a sip of water, why am I doing this.

"Can we listen to something else" my stowaway asked breaking my train of thought "on the way back"

I had been about twenty minutes away from my destination when I heard Carl in the back hitching a ride without me knowing and after fifteen minutes of arguing and having convinced me that he left a note with his dad I relented and let him tag along.

After about another fifteen minutes of driving I was standing in front of my house wishing that I was anyplace else. The rain was beginning to soak through our clothes and that's when I decided to open the portal to my past.

The door slowly creaked open and upon doing so let out a gust of warm air that wrapped itself around us for a second as if giving a brief inviting hug before dissipating,

The house was in order to a certain degree, shoes were still lined up neatly at the door, coats still hung on their hooks, pictures were still on the walls..."just as we left it" the words escaped from my lips as I started walking down the hallway.

"I'm going to check upstairs" Carl said going past me...I didn't hear him however as I was lost in the memories.

 **Third person**

Pale light was coming through a window upstairs as Carl made his way to the first room he saw, Carl would be careful to disturb as little as possible but who could resist exploring a house that had been untouched since the beginning.

Carl didn't know why but he had always enjoyed abandoned things, to imagine who the people were that had left the items behind and even though James could tell him a lot Carl would enjoy guessing regardless.

The room belonged to James that much Carl could tell due to a few pictures on the wall, Carl went further in the room and inspected a gaming set up with what seemed like hundreds of games all stacked perfectly and in alphabetical order.

Carl turned his gaze next to an old desk with a laptop and various books and photo albums on it, after attempting to turn it on Carl gave up and picked up an old school year book.

The book was hard back and was definitely fancier than anything he had gotten when he went through middle school. He flipped open to the graduating class and quickly found James dressed in a suit and tie and smiling. Carl could hardly belief that it was the same person who was with him now; he looked like a kid Carl thought smiling as he closed the book and picked up a photo album.

A lot of camping and fishing trips, James getting on an airplane with everyone crying, another photo right after with James in a military uniform and smiling. The photos continued on for a few more pages detailing the family's life. Carl closed the books and felt a tear form up in his eye.

James didn't act as though too much bothered him, but as Carl looked over the photos it put everything that he had lost in a whole new light, what he must have gone through losing everyone and everything it really started to hit Carl as he wiped away the tear.

Remembering what he did for Judith, Carl grabbed a family photo and put it aside for James.

He then turned his attention to the rest of the desk as he opened up one of the drawers revealing a pencil and some scotch tape; he opened the next and saw a black velvet box with a worn envelope.

Curious Carl picked up the box and opened it revealing a beautiful Medal that he had never seen before, he then opened up the envelope and started reading the letter.

The Medal suddenly felt a hundred times heavier as Carl realized what he held so casually in his left hand...

 **James POV**

My hand casually ran across the walls as if trying to make sure that this was real, I ended up in the kitchen.

Pots and pans lay in the sink with a sponge next to them ready to finish the job; I touched one of the pans knowing that the last person who had touched them was my mom.

The memories of her picking me up from school, being there for basic graduation, sending me letters while overseas hit me as I looked over the area.

Never again was I going to hear her soothing voice tell me that everything would be ok, never again was I going to see her. I backed quickly out of the room and treaded down towards the living room and poked my head into dad's study.

I could smell his cigar ash and hints of his cologne as I walked in; on the desk was Dad's old bible sitting open were he had last left it, I viewed the passage and quickly closed it.

The man had taught me right from wrong...he told me what it meant to be a man and take responsibility. Take care of your brother James; he's the only one you got. The words rang in my ears as I stumbled out and headed to the living room

"Why did you want me to come here?" Silence "answer me...please" I could hear the desperation in my voice as I pleaded with my dead brother. "Why are you playing these games with me…do you want me to die" the words echoed around the small room as I sat on the ground contemplating everything.

"I want you to not feel guilty"

I turned around and saw Greg standing in the entrance, he was still scarred but his clothing had changed to something cleaner. "What do you mean, I killed you, and I killed Peter, it's my fault"

Greg put up a hand to stop me "you didn't kill me big brother, three horrible people did" he took another step "and that thing with Peter, you killed someone who was abusing his family, who very easily could have killed them...you stopped that"

A hot tear ran down the side of my face "I should've done better...I should've protected you" Greg waved his hand dismissing the apology with one swift motion "if I learned anything from you...it's to let go"

"When you found the group again it didn't take you more than a few days to forgive them...and yet you can't forgive yourself for things that were out of your control, or if you did it to protect someone else"

"It's not that easy Greg...I killed man because of a possibility..." A scar disappeared from Greg's face as he continued "sometimes James, the world is black and white and whether you believe it now or later...you made the right call"

The words were beginning to sink in as my brother continued "you can't play the what if game the rest of your life James...you just have to accept that this is a new world or really it's more like the old world than you know and you have to make those decisions"

Something started to click inside my brain "but I promised..." I started to stutter "Mom and Dad don't blame you, believe me when I say that they don't"

The guilt that I had been carrying for a long time was starting to subside "go back to Alexandria James...and live" another scar had faded away as Greg started going for the door.

"It might be awhile till I fully accept this" I muttered A smile formed on Greg's face as he said "I figured that's the way we are James…but please for my sake move on" he inched closer to the door.

I jumped to my feet and ran to where he was "are you real" the roll of thunder could be heard as the door opened he shrugged his shoulders and responded "that's up to you" and for the second time my brother was gone.

 **Third person**

Carl walked slowly down the stairs "we're you talking to someone?"

James wiped the tears that had formed on his face "just talking to myself, you find anything interesting?"

Carl held up a family photograph "thought you might have wanted this" James took the crumpled photograph and looked at it for a moment before slipping it into his wallet "yeah, this is a good find"

"Don't you want to go upstairs?" Carl asked dumbfounded

James simply gave Carl a pat on the shoulder and pulled the brim of the boy's hat down around his eyes "there's nothing up there I need"

Then teen just readjusted the brim and started walking to the door with James "thanks by the way" James looked back "for what?"

"For letting me come today" James just gave a slight nod "you're my brother of course I would let you come" James stepped out into the rain and started for the car never looking back.

Carl rechecked the bag to make sure the Medal wouldn't move around too much and doubled checked the letter. He would have to ask James about how he got it later.

Epilogue

"Alright how about this" Carl pressed play and _Green Day's Basket Case_ started blaring. "You like Green Day?" The teen nodded and strummed his fingers on the window as the song continued.

"That's what I'm talking about" James said leaning back in his seat, excited to be going back, the guilt was still there somewhere but for now hope had replaced most of it.

The drive was uneventful for the most part but when James looked over at Carl he had stopped tapping along and looked like he wanted to ask something.

"What's up" James asked turning down the music.

Carl seemed to be thinking over his words carefully "I found something in your room James..."

"Ok" James was wondering what it could be.

"I found a Medal in your desk"

James turned his attention back to the road "oh"

"James how come you never said anything"

He let out a long sigh before responding "Carl that Medal isn't important..."

"James you have the Medal of..." James cut Carl off as he spotted something up ahead.

James slowed the car down to an almost dead stop, the rain had become nothing more than a drizzle and ahead of their vehicle's headlights was a figure coming towards them.

It was a man stumbling clutching his side as though wounded, James looked around quickly and knew what was happening.

He buckled his seat belt and told Carl to do the same. "Aren't we going to help him?"

One last look around "He's not even hurt" James pushed the pedal down as far as it would go and the car screeched forward like a bat out of hell.

It took the guy a second to realize that his plan didn't work and the car that should've stopped was going at him over sixty, he pulled a pistol and was able to get two rounds off before he was run over. However the rest of his crew had sprung into action and all their efforts were put on the car.

James pushed Carl's head down and tried to dodge as much as he could before one of his tires was shot out. He overcorrected and soon the car was in a ditch.

The smell of oil and gas plugged up James's nostrils and left him feeling nauseous as he looked over at Carl who seemed to be sporting a broken nose as he tried to free himself.

James's door was quickly opened and he was pulled out of the wreckage.

Carl's door was flung open at about the same time and he was dragged out kicking and screaming as the men grabbed him, Carl punched as clawed at the men as they attempted to flip him onto his stomach. One of the men was able to grab Carl's throat and slowly but surely the fight left Carl's eyes as he fell into unconsciousness.

James had taken a few more punches but soon he was on the ground getting his hands bound tightly behind him and blindfolded

"I love it when they have fight in em" a gravelly voice said.

James felt one of the men get down next to him, his hot breath hissed in his ear as the man spoke "this is going to be fun"

 **Hey hope everyone enjoyed, please let me know what you thought. Next chapter is going to be set during this chapter but the point of view will be from Alexandria and their thoughts about what is going on.**


	13. Thoughts and Memories

**Hello everyone, I feel fantastic and ready to write again. Just to say again that this chapter is going to be set during the same time as the last one but from Alexandria's POV.**

 **Before anything else, let me know seriously how this chapter is, I haven't watched the walking dead for a while nor do I have access to it in the country that i'm currently in, so please if I miss something with the characters or don't get their personality completely correct its due to memory.**

 **MsJackson53-poor Carl indeed, hopefully it will get better for them…or not. My favorite part writing the chapter was definitely the conversation between Greg and James, and again thank you.**

 **TWDFAN2016-Thank you so for your comment and don't worry I'm not stopping anytime soon.**

 **Guest-thank you for saying so, its greatly appreciated.**

 **I have to admit that I have been pretty down lately and you guys really helped out with your comments, as I'm sure some of you know it can be pretty difficult knowing that people are reading your work and leaving no feedback…it kinda just starts to feel that no one liked the chapter or you did something wrong.**

 **But seriously thank you. Enjoy the chapter.**

 **Chapter 13 "Thoughts and Memories"**

 **Rosita**

Rosita laid on the bed covered in perspiration; the window was open but did nothing to alleviate the heat as the thunder rolled on with the constant patter of rain accompanying the sound.

Her mind was running a million miles a minute as the thoughts raced, almost as if competing with one another for attention. everything hit her at once, arriving in Alexandria, Deanna, the party and Sasha's break down, Ron, Peter, the fight. Only one person was consistent during the flood of memories however…James.

It's not that she was in love with him or anything but there was something about him that had left an imprint on her mind, and as the days had gone on that imprint had gotten bigger.

He wasn't like the others, where Rick and Michonne played nice and wore the uniforms that Deanna wanted…James wore Jeans and a t-shirt. At the party it seemed like everyone was stepping on eggshells in an attempt to not make Peter suspicious, James openly challenged him with that little "slip up"

And that faithful night when Ron was bleeding out, unconscious and about ready to die…James was calm and collected and was able to convince her to stay.

But what had stood out the most was his forgiveness, when the group realized that James wasn't with them she had wanted to go back immediately...but she didn't, she stayed with the rest of the group along with Abraham and she hated herself for it. and then when they arrived and who else would be standing there but James and all the guilt that had been kept at bay sprung forward and didn't leave till she talked with him.

What she didn't expect was James forgiving her so quickly, sure she forgave quickly such as with Eugene...but they had left James to die and there he was in his garage forgiving not only her but the rest of the group as well.

Abraham on the other hand was well…Abraham. And as the thoughts continued the less sure she felt about not only herself but everyone and everything.

The sound of footsteps brought her out of her thoughts and soon Abraham had stepped into the room smiling. "how's it going"

Rosita turned her head towards him and sat up on the bed "We need to talk"

 **Jessie**

The heart monitor continued its simplistic but soothing beat as Jessie sighed and looked around, Sam was laying on a couch in a deep but restless sleep, while Ron on the other hand was in a medically induced coma and appeared to be at peace for the first time in years.

She thought that she had wanted this…to be rid of him. But as she stared at her son she felt alone. After all the beatings, getting berated, watching her children cower in fear of their own father she had wanted desperately to be free of the man she called her husband…but now.

She remembered the good times that they had had; he had been so excited when Ron was born and even more excited when she told him she was pregnant with Sam but something happened.

He started to drink a few beers after work, and then it became a six pack and continued to spiral out from there. But as the good times continued to play through her head, she knew in her heart that she had to forget about Peter, he wasn't the same person that she had married all those years ago. But another thought crossed her mind.

He was out in the wilderness, he could be coming for her, for Ron, maybe Sam…was this what her life was going to be now, worrying not only about the dead but also the man she had once loved, fearing the day he would walk back into their life and take them all out.

Ron stirred in the bed and mumbled something before the room was silent yet again. She rested her head in her hands and let out a quiet sob "I'm so sorry, Ron…I should've done more"

Anger and hopelessness started to close in from all sides and just like before she was powerless once again.

 **Michonne**

Michonne made a short jig towards the shelves as country music hummed through the radio and filled the kitchen.

Judith let out a small laugh and Michonne quickly gave a quick tickle to her small feet and continued going through the shelves trying to find what she was looking for.

"There you are" she said with a triumphed laugh, as she pulled the flour down and proceeded to gather the other items for her project. She was going to try and make cookies…not a hard task…not really an easy one either given the current conditions.

It was the rain that was doing this to her, rainy days used to mean staying inside and relaxing…or after she had Andre it meant chasing him around in the mud and then eventually making cookies.

A small sigh escaped as she poured the contents into a bowl and started stirring, moments later a knock was heard and she went over to the door to see Rick.

He was drenched from the down pour and appeared worried…or angry…maybe both. Her heart skipped a beat "Rick what's wrong"

He said nothing brushing along side her handing her a note, and proceeded to the kitchen and picked up Judith.

Michonne looked over the note and quickly realized the reason for the worry, "So I gather he didn't tell you" Rick said patting Judith's back.

Michonne shook her head as she stepped past Rick and turned down the music "this is the first I'm hearing of it"

"I don't understand…Carl knows better than to just run off like this. I mean what in the hell was James thinking not telling me about this"

Michonne let Rick continue for a moment before responding "In James's defense I don't think he was planning on having Carl with him either"

A giggle escaped from Judith as Rick looked out into the rainy afternoon "I know, it's just Carl being a kid…but damn it he should have told me"

"When did he say he'd be back" Michonne asked as she started putting various cooking equipment away.

Glancing at his watch Rick responded with "around an hour ago"

The rain started to slow and Michonne immediately knew what Rick was going to say next.

"Would you mind watching Judith for a little longer?"

Michonne shook her head ""You're not going alone"

"You know damn well Deanna is not going to let both of us go, she'll want one constable here"

Michonne considered this for a moment before reaching a compromise "Take Rosita with you"

Rick sat Judith back in her carriage "Why her"

"Daryl's on a recruit run with Aaron, Glenn and Maggie are working on getting more people for supply runs, and I don't think Carol would be the best person to ask with helping James"

Rick seemed a little unsure still as Michonne added"And its Rosita, you and I know she'll help"

Silence hung in the air as Rick weighed the options; Judith had also gone quiet as if understanding the magnitude of the situation.

"OK, I'll take her. But stay near a radio if we need help"

Michonne nodded "everything will be fine Rick, who else besides us would protect Carl better than James" she hoped that the worry was out of her voice as she tried to comfort him.

"I know"

 **Twenty minutes from Alexandria**

Rick and Rosita scanned the road as they drove on. "You sure this is the road"

Rick nodded and said "There are three possibilities going from Alexandria to Leesburg, one of those roads is impassible, according to James. So that gives us a good chance that this is the one, worst case we take the other one back"

Rosita nodded and returned her attention to the side of the road, nervously taping her fingers.

Up ahead she could see a flash of red, some white smoke gently wafting into the sky, "There!"

Rick could feel his heart pounding in his chest as he hoped that James and Carl would both just be a little knocked around.

His heart sunk as he saw the car doors open, the bullet holes in the side, Rick inched around and looked inside the vehicle where the airbags had deployed.

Almost like a faithful collie whimpering, a light pinging could be heard as the car faithfully continued to remind its owner that they had left the key in the ignition.

Rick continued to scan the car till his eyes fell upon, Carl's hat sitting in the back, Rick stepped out and looked around the woods "CARL!"

Silence for a moment until the wind greeted him with a soft whistle letting him know "they're long gone"

 **Epilogue**

My head was pounding as I lay in the bed. I could barely breathe, my nose was stuffed up and my throat felt sore as hell.

Slowly I inched opened my eye lids, a wave of pain and I shut them, from what I had been able to glance I saw James with his ear pressed against a metal door. I tried to speak and felt like someone's hands were crushing the air out of me.

I let out a low painful groan as that was the only thing my body would let me do, James quickly came to my side holding a rag.

"Hey Carl" I opened my eye lids as far as I dared and saw James; though he was smiling I could tell that something was seriously wrong.

"James, what happened?" my raspy voice foreign to my ears.

James looked back at the door "listen before I tell you anything I need you to sit up, you think you could do that"

It seemed like an eternity but soon I was sitting upright looking at what was basically a prison cell, "I need you to blow your nose" my look must of said it all because he quickly added "Trust me, I know it sounds weird"

I took the dirty rag and obeyed the request by blowing into it expelling whatever had been blocking my nose, I looked down and saw a mixture of blood and mucus disgusted I threw the rag into the corner.

"Alright so this part is going to suck" before I could say anything I felt James's cool hands placing themselves onto my face "on three…" I wasn't entirely sure what he was doing but I waited patiently.

"One, two…" a nauseating feeling came over me as I fell back onto the bed with a thud, "sorry…had to be done"

I couldn't say anything as the room spun around and objects melted together "I didn't know how much time we would have so I thought it best to set your nose"

Air filled my lungs much easier than before as I tried to realign the room but to no avail, another groan escaped my lips as darkness started to creep in.

A clang against metal could be heard and the fake smile James had been sporting was hidden away as he got next to me, "Carl listen to me very carefully"

I tried to focus all my attention on him as the darkness closed in even more "remember what I told you after our first run". My mind flipped through all the memories of the past months till it landed on the one he was talking about.

Slowly I nodded my head "I told you that you are strong, and that is every bit as true now as it was then"

The sound of key could be heard outside our door, "I want you to remember that…you are strong…no matter what happens these next few minutes, hours or days….got it"

Another weak nod as the door flew open and a man stepped in stepped in sporting a brown jacket and long graying hair, two men stood behind him with AK-47's.

The man was obviously a leader and had done this before as he played with a switchblade in his hand, effortlessly cutting around the air as he examined us.

"I think it's time for a chat"

 **So that's Chapter 13, next chapter might be rated M. I'm just saying that now. Please let me know what you thought, like an idiot i'm reading this over going off of little sleep and thinking...yeah this is pretty good. Anyway thank you all for reading and I hope you enjoyed.**


	14. In Harm's Way

**Hello everyone, just to reiterate this is going to be the last chapter for about four weeks due to going home...I have just want to say thank you. This whole concept started during a difficult time in my life and it gave me something to look forward to every week. Knowing that there were a small group of people that actually liked something that I wrote, still sometimes perplexes me and I will always be grateful.**

 **Seriously I cannot say how thankful I am**

 **MsJackson53-as always thank you for your continued support**

 **Something I wanted to bring up is the beginning to every chapter. I should have explained a while ago but these are going to be snippets of James's life from before the outbreak, before the group, and with the group…it will be random.**

 **Hope you all enjoy the chapter**

The room was so quiet that you could hear a pin drop; reporters around the podium, Generals, Senators, and Congressmen all are smiling watching the moment as if they had contributed to it at all.

And I guess in a way they did, they can say to themselves that we are responsible for this day, after all we sent him to war didn't we?

I say nothing; I stand like the good little soldier with the thousand yard stare trying to keep up the fake smile long enough so no one gets suspicious…so that I can go back.

The president continues droning on and on about what a great day this is for not only for the Country but also my family, as if he truly understands. And for a moment I believe it too and then the thoughts come rushing back.

Screaming, that was the first thing I heard, someone…A friend, maybe an enemy at the moment though I can only think about the fire that's about to consume my body, the screaming is replaced by the sound of my heart beat as I drag my body out through the wreckage in into the streets of hell.

I can see almost nothing due to the lateness of the hour but the sounds are loud enough, women and children screaming, gunshots, the sound of burning flesh sizzling in the wreckage perforates my eardrum and reminds me to keep moving.

"Law" a voice calls for me, I turn and see my friend Alex taking cover, even the darkness of night can't stop me from telling that my friend is in a bad way. I start running towards him knowing in battle every second matters…

A joke is told and the laughter brings me back to the land of the living, _why couldn't it be me_? The question that escapes my lips every day, _why did he have to die_?

Out of habit a scan the room until my eyes land upon her….even in grieving she gives off a glow. She wipes a tear from her eyes and sits calmly and quietly…ever the stoic even during a ceremony that only reminds her that this nineteen year old kid is alive, and not her husband.

Beside her is his daughter, only a year old staring back at me as if knowing I am the one responsible for her Daddy never coming home.

The president comes over and slips the medal over my neck and whispers a nearly silent congratulations and steps back to face the crowd.

"Airman First Class James Law is awarded on behalf of the President and Congress the Medal of Honor…" my mind blanks as I look out among the faces, I want to scream "Not me…its him that should be honored not me…he would still be alive if I had just…."

My thoughts are drowned out by the clapping, but that's not what I hear…I hear a soft cry from his little girl and that breaks through and chills me to the bone… the question returns _why you and not him?_

I can only answer _I don't know._

 **Chapter 14 "In harm's way"**

My head goes underwater for the fifth time and for the fifth time I struggle to hold my breath as the rough hands hold me under.

The feeling of over a thousand knives stabbing my body hits me as I count in my head 'one, two, three' soon I reach thirty and unwillingly I breathe in filling my lungs with icy water and I wait.

Seconds go by and I realize something is terribly wrong I'm not breathing air I'm still submerged. Another few seconds go by and the panic starts to set in as I realize the game has changed, more time goes by and the darkness starts to creep in.

I thrash violently against the hands that keep me in water; I desperately try and yell which allows more water to seep in.

Just before I'm completely gone I feel myself being dragged up, I break the surface coughing and hacking trying to expel whatever fluid that was still in my lungs.

Loud music fills my ears as I see the group of three men gathered around me laughing, the one who's their leader runs his greasy hand through my short hair and yanks me up so I face him.

"So tell me about Alexandria" my blood runs cold at the mention of the name. "How do you know about that?"

A thin smile across his face "it took a while but the boy talked… after we took turns with him"

I feel disgusted as the man looks at me before he laughs with the rest of his gang "Just kiddin, we didn't do anything to the boy" he slaps me across the face and gets closer "But we will and if you don't tell us what we want…it won't be pleasant"

I can barely hear what the man says due to the music and not to mention my exhaustion "tell me how you know the name?" I croak

The man motions for the two men leave after they get me out of the icy water and tie me to a chair. After they leave the man turns the music off and I breathe a sigh of relief.

It had been two days…wait, no…three days…two?

It had been a while, memoires filling my mind. Rick is defiantly looking for us, especially if Carl is missing too. _Why didn't I just take him home when I found him? No don't think like that, you have to protect him and get him out of this…don't play the what if game._

"We have people everywhere, inside your town, your neighbors, friends…" I think back to everyone, wondering if I could have been so blind before it dawns on me that the man is smiling again.

"Fooled you twice, come on you can't be this gullible" He slaps me across the face for the third time…second? And then goes over to a table where various items are littered about.

 _You…are not gullible, your just…just what_ , my mind is swimming beyond my control, _did they drug me_?

"I have to tell you, we were about ready to pack up and go home till we heard your car…and I have to admit you both were quite the catch.

"Where's Carl?" my voice sounding weak and tired, devoid of any confidence. The man stops for a moment and looks over "Is that his name?" the man turns back toward me with a coat in his hand.

I'm silent, cursing myself for giving away any piece of information. "I will admit, that kid is stubborn and a bit of a fighter too. The man reveals a scar on one of his arms, "but I wouldn't worry about him…he has uses to us"

Another grin and I want to throw up, the man throws the coat on the floor near me and I read the symbol on the sleeves along with a badge. **Commonwealth of Virginia Constable. Alexandria.**

"Did you forget that that was in your car" the man goes back to the table and begins looking around again. I feel the guilt building up to the point that I'm worried that it's going to spill over.

"You know that people are going to come looking?" I with certainty

Without missing a beat the man responds "I think we can handle your people, we've known about Alexandria for a few months now, none of your people can handle this world"

 _They don't know about Rick, they've underestimated us…yes._

He gets so close that I can see his yellowed teeth, smell his last meal.

"So James" the use of my name sends an involuntary shiver up my spine as he continues "you and Carl are not going to leave here, alive. I'm going to let anyone and everyone do what they want to you and Carl…Just between you and me a lot of them are lining up outside Carl's cell"

His message sinks in as I try to come up with something to get me some freedom or at least spare Carl for a moment, the man starts walking towards the door as I let out a small laugh.

He steps back and glares at me "something funny"

"You, really have no idea who your fucking with" a smile fresh on my face as the man opens up the door

The smirk reappears on his face as he coolly states "Neither do you"

 **So I hope that you all seriously enjoyed, please leave a review if you did and again you can Private message me if you have any questions. Thank you reading.**


	15. Got to go

**Hello everyone, as you can tell I'm back. A quick thank you to those who stayed, you're awesome. Also I'm just going to say this I am going to try to publish every other week, I started another walking dead story and I'm really excited to continue writing it if your interested go ahead and check it out...**

 **Msjackson53-Thank you for understanding and for sticking around, it really means a lot knowing that I have your support.**

 **TWDFAN2016-thank you for saying so, and I love reading your reviews thank you so much for showing your support for not just this story but the other one as well.**

 **Wolverine1975-hey what can I say you gotta have a cliffhanger every now and again, seriously thank you.**

 **And as always I hope you all enjoy and let me know what you thought, you guys are awesome.**

 **Chapter 15 "Got to go"**

" **The healthy human mind doesn't wake up in the morning thinking this is its last day on Earth. But I think that's a luxury, not a curse. To know you're close to the end is a kind of freedom."**

Carl lay unmoving in his cell, he knew what was probably going to happen, strike that he knew exactly what was going to happen. He wasn't stupid; he knew what these people wanted from him….now he just had to find a way to escape.

When one is alone in a new environment it does him good to explore it to the best of his abilities, Carl was lucky that he was bored and also was left alone for a good portion of the day…that's how he found his ticket out of here.

He had worked a long time on a loose nail that had been sticking out from an air duct, and one bloodied hand and a few hours later, the teen was now in possession of a weapon, albeit a very small weapon but a weapon all the same.

The sound of a leaky faucet in his cell was almost to the point of maddening and unfortunately was the only thing that perforated his ear drums as he lay on the dirty mattress inside his cell… _you have to escape…you have to save James._

Carl didn't know how long it had been since the men took James but it had to have been at least a few days and as the hours continued to pass the more Carl missed his friend.

He heard the screams at random times throughout the day, and every time another scream was heard Carl felt as though a piece of his humanity died along with it. _These people don't deserve mercy…they have to be killed._

Carl also realized that a person's thoughts run wild when left alone; his thoughts would go to the most trivial of things before all this. Eating breakfast, going running, his dad giving him a lecture. And then his thoughts would go deeper being saved by James all those months ago, the claimers, escaping terminus, the church….Alexandria….dad, Judith…Michonne…James.

The thoughts and names would continue on and on as Carl would remember little details that he thought he had forgotten, Carl quickly wiped away a tear that had formed. _Don't think about that now, you have to get out of here._

The door to the cell slowly opened and in stepped one of the guards, the one known as Tim and also Carl thought one of the creepiest.

Tim said nothing and simply gave him his meager meal of bread and some sort of meat, Carl didn't eat anything except the bread. Never know what or who it could be.

"Your brother's a hard one to crack" the sentence hung in the air as the man stared at Carl _Yes he's still alive_ ….Tim always lingered behind, started off as a few seconds which eventually turned into a few minutes and as the man stared at the boy with his cold eyes Carl fought every urge to throw up.

"You know it's not polite to not talk" the man inched toward Carl who caused the boy to involuntarily scoot back on his bed. Tim never stayed this long before let alone say more than a few words, what did he want?

"Don't have much to say" Carl muttered hoping that the man would leave him alone, "I bet you'll have plenty to say once the boss gives the all clear"

The man took another step forward "But I'm sure the boss wouldn't mind if I started before" Tim looked behind him and made sure that the door was secure.

Carl felt his back press against the wall… _No more room…_ the man came closer as a look of amusement overtook his face. "Nowhere to go boy"

Carl held the nail firmly in his non bloodied hand as the man continued to inch his way across the room till he was only a few feet away. "You're bleeding" the man had very little emotion in his voice as he crouched down next to the boy and looked at his hand.

"Now what have you gotten…." The nail had found its mark piercing the man's eye causing him to howl in pain; Carl used the opportunity to grab the man's keys and then ran.

 _Have to find James._ The thought hung in the teen's head as he surveyed his surroundings; _you heard his screams yesterday…he can't be far._

Carl looked up and down the dimly lit hallway and after a few seconds decided to go left. The howls from the injured man got fainter and fainter as Carl's legs took him farther from what had been his home for the past few days. Carl took a moment to catch his breath and get his bearings where he was.

 _James come on give me a sign._

 **James**

His clothes were mostly dry as James sat still bound to the chair, he could barely see out of his left eye since the beating yesterday and he could still taste blood but other than that James was in decent spirits.

"Hold it up and show my buddies like we aint scared and our boots aint muddy. And they all laugh like something funny by the way I talk" James continued singing the chorus to "Letters from home" in an act of self-preservation…doing something to take his mind off of the situation for a moment.

 _Worked over there_ …the sound of a gunshot brought him out of the song and back into the situation as he looked around the small room. _They came…maybe._

 **Carl**

Carl turned his head to where he could see a perfect bullet hole inches from his head. He let out a sigh and slowly turned to see one of the guards holding a smoking pistol.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" The question hung in the air as Carl slowly put his hands above his head. "Did you not hear me…I asked what the fuck are you doing?"

Carl again didn't answer and decided to play an old trick; he held his hand up to his ears to indicate that he couldn't hear due to the shot.

The man shook his head angrily and started to stomp towards Carl. "You've got to be fucking kidding, the shot wasn't that loud"

He was close enough…Carl took a chance quickly he crouched down and then propelled himself forward, his fist connected with the man's chin causing him to fly back onto the ground.

Carl took the opportunity to grab the pistol and put it against the man's abdomen "Where is he?" his voice cracking as beads of sweat trickled down his spine.

"I'm touched I really am, you going to these lengths but…" the man let out a soft laugh as he stared at the boy "you're both good as dead now"

Carl had had enough; he pulled the trigger sending hot lead into the man's stomach. The man let out a low moan as Carl repeated the question "Where is he?"

Blood began to pour out of the man's mouth as he simply pointed down the hall and said "door on left"

Carl sprinted down the hallway leaving the man struggling to breathe, no need to waste another bullet. He reached the door and turned the knob, slowly the door crept open revealing a darkened room.

Carl squinted against the lack of light and tried to make out something or someone in the darkness.

The sound of shuffling feet could be heard…

"James?"

 **Hey hope you guys enjoyed and sorry if this is a little short, i had a bunch of ideas on how this chapter was going to go and i decided to settle on this one since i really haven't had Carl do anything bad ass..pardon my french... anyway I'll try to make the next one longer and please let me know what you thought.**


	16. Till the end of the line

**Hello everyone, a quick thank you to those who have followed or favorited, and also with this chapter being published I realize that I've hit over forty thousand words which is the equivalent to a novel length, don't know if that's good or bad but anyway.**

 **TWDFAN2016-thank you as always, you're great**

 **Msjackson53-I'm so happy that you liked it, you're awesome thank you**

 **Wolverine1975-you're really not going to like this chapter, sorry I feel your pain**

 **IWalkOnMyOwn-hey glad you like it**

 **Chapter 16** **"Till the end of the line"**

" **Because brothers don't let each other wander in the dark alone."**

– **Jolene Perry**

Carl stood defiantly in the door way, the room was almost pitch black nothing could be seen or heard accept for the shallow breathing coming from the teen as he surveyed his surroundings. _He lied._

Carl let out a low soft breath into the cool air, mad that he had allowed himself to be fooled, not to mention he cut his source of information when he fired his last shot. Carl took a small step, mind full of the door if he needed to make a quick escape.

There really was nothing to be found and yet Carl felt as though he couldn't leave … _is that breathing_. The teen stopped and begged his ears to pick up on the sound, sure enough it was breathing, calm collected, breathing. Before Carl could utter a word blinding lights were turned on, quickly he held up a hand in order to shield his unprotected eyes from the violent rays.

"I'll give credit where it's due, you're one tough kid" slowly Carl put his hand to his side so he could view the scene before him. James was tied up on his knees in front of the man who had taken them, the man who currently was pointing a shotgun to the back of James's skull.

Hell wasn't an accurate term to describe what James looked like, his short hair was matted with sweat and blood, his eye didn't appear to be able to open, numerous scars and bruises covered the visible parts of his body and yet through it all his expression displayed calmness, Carl was terrified.

"Why?'' the simple question was the only thing that Carl could utter from his lips as he kept his gun trained on the man who held the life of his brother.

The man was amused "Why not, why do people do the things we do" the man spoke with such force it took an additional effort on Carl's part to not step back.

"Carl would you kindly shoot this…" a hit to the back and James went back to being silent for a moment "look just stop, can't we work something out" Carl said pleading, desperate to stop the abuse.

There was something in the man's eyes, "there's nothing that you can offer, sooner or later my men are going to show up and you'll go back to your cell and James…well there's a lot of walkers outside our walls."

"And if I shoot you?" the man indicated with his gun firmly putting it back to James's skull "you shoot, his head will paint this entire room"

"Carl listen to me, run…I'll be fine just go" another hit to the back of the head and James was lying on the floor, blood trickling down the side of his head.

An idea hit Carl as he saw the person who was not only his brother but also his friend, his mentor someone that he could talk to about anything practically dying before him, he couldn't take it anymore; Carl took a step back "I'm sorry James…" Carl took the gun off the man and placed it to his own temple "what if I pull the trigger now"

The amused look had disappeared from the man as he and James looked at the boy in pure shock, the air was so thick with tension that not even a knife could cut through it. "You're bluffing" the man sounded unconvinced.

James looked up from his position and couldn't believe what he was seeing, "Carl" his voice sounded thick as he tried to speak "don't…just…go"

"James, this is my choice and if you're going to die then, I'm with you…till the end of the line"

"What do you want?" the leader was ready to deal almost anything…almost

"You get James out of here, promise me you'll get him to Alexandria and I'll stay" Carl was surprised by the calmness in his voice as he felt the cool steel pressed into his temple.

The man considered the options, there was no way he was going to lose the boy he was one of the best finds in a long time on the other hand he couldn't let the brother go he had seen the look in the man's eyes, James would do what all good men would do and that would mean himself and a whole lot of his men dead the minute he let James go. But Carl couldn't see Alexandria from here which means he couldn't see James getting a bullet in his head.

"Alright you got yourself a deal" the man still kept his gun trained on James as he radioed for four men to come in.

"No, no, no fuck this Carl, you don't get to do this, not to your dad. And certainly not to me" James desperately struggled against the bonds as the men came in and began to drag him out.

"I'm sorry James" they were the only words that Carl could utter as they dragged his brother away. And now he was alone with the monster… _Your strong remember._

 **James**

 _Left foot, right foot, left foot right foot…you have to go back, left foot, right foot._ The car had long since stopped and after a few clumsy footsteps James was walking with the two men deeper into the woods.

His right eye had completely swollen shut and that along with the smell and the pain James knew the unfortunate truth that the eye would probably have to go, unless he found a doctor. _Left foot, right foot one after another._

Carl did one of the worst things that James could think of doing and while he was walking relatively free right now, there was no telling what these people were going to do next, the only thought that ran through James's mind other than moving forward was _we didn't drive nearly long enough to be near Alexandria._

"Look I think I can find my way from here guys thanks" James began walking a little faster which wasn't easy to do with his hands tied.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa where do you think you're going" the man was older probably in his late twenties, the way he draped his arm over James…just the familiarity of it made James cringe with anger.

"It was agreed that I would be returned to Alexandria, your boss made an agreement…"

The other man started to step closer "oh we heard that part the agreement with a fourteen year old, if the boss had given the go ahead the shot would have happened and the kid would be in his cell albeit with a messed up hand and you would have been dead"

The man looked around the area a minute before unholstering his weapon "now however, we wasted gas and other resources to make the kid think he had the upper hand, now if the kid is more complacent later on…worth it…but" the man aimed the pistol at James "the kid's a fighter, so walker or head shot?" the man asked his companion

"I mean walker means we technically didn't lie to the kid, he would still be alive" their reasoning in another situation would have made James laugh, however when it's you staring at the end of a loaded gun there isn't a lot to laugh about.

Every moment of his life was flashing before him as the stainless steel weapon stared into not only him but his very being as well. He saw two people in the bushes, would've been easy to miss if it wasn't for the cross bow, not dead yet.

"So what, no cigarette…blindfold, just straight shot….ok but you should know who you're messing with before you pull the trigger" the men just looked at each other as the executioner cocked the gun "You're not going to be a threat"

"Wasn't talking about me…" James felt the warm blood go across his face as the man before him hit the ground with a resounding thud, shortly after the other joined his friend as well.

James collapsed onto the ground as Daryl and Rosita appeared from their hiding place, "good to see you, kinda" James said as he tried to get off the ground.

"Holy shit James, we've got to get you back to Alexandria" Rosita tried to keep the panic out of her voice as she looked him over. "Where's Rick, there's no way he's at Alexandria" James his hands free steadied himself and slowly got back onto his feet.

"No you got that right" Daryl answered as he looted the bodies, "no…he's with Michonne, where's Carl?" Rosita asked now worried about Carl.

"He's alive, though I'm not sure for how long" he took a pistol from Daryl's outstretched hand, "so whose coming with?" James asked as he checked the pistol.

"Hell no, there is no way you are going anywhere but Alexandria, you could lose your eye" Rosita pleaded as James deemed the weapon adequate and tucked it into his waistband.

"James is right, we have to act now Carl's in danger" Daryl's resounding voice echoed around the small group, "I'll radio Rick and tell him where to meet us and then we go"

James nodded as he started back toward the road "He is my responsibility, and there is no way in hell that my brother is dying…not again"

 **20 minutes later**

Every minute was pure agony for James _, what is Carl going through, why didn't he just go…fuck why didn't he turn the damn car around when he had the chance._

His self-pity didn't last much longer because soon a car pulled up and outstepped Michonne and Rick who couldn't have looked more angry if he tried. However the punch that James half expected never came and instead of an angry voice, compassion.

"James, James, James" Rick looked over the young man's face briefly touching the eye "where is he?"

"I'll tell you on the way so stop wasting time and let's go"

"James you're going back to Alexandria with Rosita while the rest of us…."

James cut off the conversation before it even started "no, I know the way to their compound, I know kind of how the place is set up, and I know exactly what type of person you're dealing with so…"

James again started toward the road "Stop worrying about me and let's kill the son of a bitch, because daylights wasting"

The small group looked to Rick desperately hoping that he wouldn't say "Alright you heard him, let's go"

 **I'm sorry, please believe me I know, I hate cliff hangers and I know the last couple have been but I also didn't want the longest chapter in the world the next one I promise you will be published in the next few days. Which you know how I am but believe me I will try to get it out there soon, but with school and everything it can be difficult, but I digress really hope you guys liked it.**


	17. Always Another

**Hi guy's I think this is a new record even for me (Nine months) I won't promise anything other than it will not be that long again. I'm done with another semester at University and besides searching for a job I don't have much else going on, besides three other stories that I've been working on and which will update soon on those, so keep a look out. As always**

 **TWDFAN2016-I know you said not to but thank you as always, and I hope you like this chapter**

 **Wolverine1975-sorry, seriously though I hope this chapter makes up for the lack of chapters. Let me know what you think**

 **MsJackson53-thank you as always for your support I can't wait to hear what you think**

 **RinnaZeveran1987-glad you love the story and I hope you love this chapter**

 **I really hope you guys like it and sorry about any errors, I just had an idea for this chapter so I ran with it. Enjoy!**

 **Chapter 17 (Always Another)**

The ceaseless buzzing of an alarm radiated throughout the compound as James and Rosita made their way down red illuminated corridor. The sound would occasionally be overridden by the crack of a gun or the scream of some unknown entity but none of that concerned the pair, they only had one thing on their mind and that was to get Carl and then get out.

"You ok?" Rosita asked

No James did not feel ok, his head was pounding, various parts of his body were screaming at his to rest and his left eye was completely swollen shut, constantly throbbing reminding him that he needed to see a doctor.

"Yeah I'm good" James gritted the through the pain, and attempted to flash a smile to prove that he was indeed fine and not in fact about ready to collapse from both pain and exhaustion.

Rosita nodded and whispered an unconvinced "sure" before returning her attention to the hallway which like before was awash in dark red emergency lights.

Shadows began dancing and playing off each other, mimicking various shapes and faces as they continued walking down the hallway. James was trying to get his bearings but it almost seemed impossible, him and Carl had been knocked out and blindfolded when brought to this place and James himself was blindfolded again when they had taken him to die. So despite having a pace count he had no idea which way to turn and the more they continued the more he felt his head begin to spin, which in turn caused bile to rise in his throat.

They reached a fork in the road or in their case hallway, two paths both could equally lead to the desired outcome and both could equally fuck them over.

"Which way?" Rosita asked

James said nothing leaning against the wall as the spinning was beginning to get worse and the pain in his eye doubling. He felt his legs begin to buckle. Carl was going to die and it was all his fault, he was going to lose his brother a second time all because he couldn't figure out the God Damn direction.

"James, which way?" Rosita's voice was beginning to sound more panicked as James slid to the ground ready to throw up the contents of his stomach.

Before expelling the contents James murmured a single statement "I have no fucking clue"

 **Carl**

Carl sat in the chair nervously thumping his knee, his captor who insisted to being called Carver who also just as nervous walked around the room. The only sounds that could be heard were the constant barrage of gunshots mixed in with the ever annoying sound of an alarm going off.

 _James is back at Alexandria getting the help he needs and right now his Dad is there to save him, though it would be nice to be free now_.

He hadn't realized the pain before but now that he had a moment to think straight the more his wrists began aching, to be free for just a moment. And the more he sat there, the more he wished that he could just leave and be back in Alexandria with his family and friends...to be home.

"God damn it, would you stop" Carver hissed indicating for Carl to stop the constant jerking motion with his left leg.

The sharpness of the order snapped Carl out of his day dream and due to his current predicament the boy obeyed slowing his leg a tad bit not wanting to upset the man further.

"I should've just killed him when I had the chance" Carver whispered under his breath as he continued to pace back and forth in the room.

Carl watched as his captor continued back and forth it was apparent that this experience was new to him, the feeling of defeat the feeling that everything that he worked so hard for was being taken away, all because he fucked with the wrong people, the wrong person...Carl had to admit he was enjoying it a little.

 _Fuck what if it wasn't James coming back, what if its…_ the thought crossed Carver's brain

Now that thought was truly terrifying, they had paid their dues this month but what if he didn't care anymore, what if he was going to kill them all because he was done, done dealing with them.

Carver looked over at the boy who currently seemed to be trying to stare him down. No way he wasn't taking him with him.

"Get the fuck up!" The man growled stomping over to the boy who involuntarily flinched as the man grabbed him by the shirt ripping it in the process of standing the boy up and taking him over to the door, grabbing his pack as he went.

"I'm not going anywhere with you" Carl stated defiantly before receiving another slap to the face and a dirty rag tied over his mouth.

"Listen kid I'm about to lose everything, now I could just cut my loss and slit your throat but I'd rather have some companionship later on so if you would be so kind." He said wiping away a thick layer of sweat from his forehead before motioning for the kid to head out first.

Carl obeyed and slowly stepped out into the dimly lit hallway not sure what he should be scared of most, the man behind him or what had suddenly scared Carver.

 **Outside**

Rick stuck his knife into another one of the men before quickly taking cover behind an old truck as a rain of gunfire shot around him, barely missing him. Without missing a beat he took the Deadman's gun and turned it to where the shots had rang out and quickly returned fire, hopefully taking out whoever it was.

There was a lapse of fire as Michonne quickly made her way to the same spot and took cover behind the truck alongside her friend. She was almost shocked by his appearance, it had been a long time since she had seen Rick in full warrior mode. Sweat streamed down his face, blood was caked on his clothes and beard, his hair was hanging in various directions but what really caught her attention was the eyes. His icy blue eyes were full of a mixture of determination and fear. Determined to get his son back, afraid if he didn't, it was that look that struck fear into the hearts of the enemies that they now faced, just like they had before.

Another barrage of gunfire erupted around them as Rick gave her another look and a nod, and he was off. No words needed, they knew what each other had to do and they knew the other could do it. Michonne turned her attention to her next target and ran.

 **James**

The pain had begun to subside but it was still there, constantly reminding him that he was in a world of shit without a choice but to keep on going.

"You going to be ok" Rosita's voice once again reverberating around the enclosed space.

James simply nodded, thankful that she had come with him instead of Rick. Who would probably be at James's throat right about now, wondering how he didn't know the way.

James didn't respond to her question but instead got back onto his feet, not because he wanted to but the sound of running feet caused him to move quicker than he ever thought possible.

His companion heard the same noise and too followed his move and embraced the shadows of the wall. Hoping that they would get the jump on whoever walked past. Two figures soon entered their line of sight, one clearly a man and greatly contrasted with the other figure who had to be a child or teenager.

James gathered his energy going back to his training "STOP WHERE YOU ARE!" His voice thundered around the space not only causing the two figures in front of them to stop but also making himself nearly jump out of his skin.

"PUT YOUR HANDS ABOVE You!" His voice pitched slightly downward from a shout to a horse cry.

The man quickly did as he was told but the smaller figure next to him began to frantically move up against the wall shaking back and forth. A bright light from Rosita quickly flashed on the pair, causing James's blood to boil.

Carl stood in front of them, next to the man who kidnapped them. His mouth was gagged with an old dirty rag, his shirt was nearly torn from his body. His chocolate hair was matted to his head and face by a mixture of both blood and sweat, and yet despite the rage of seeing him in that condition James couldn't help but feel a little pride as Carl's eyes showed not a hint of fear but instead remained calm and collected.

The man next to him however was the complete opposite and was to the point of shaking, "Get up against the wall!" James's voice was now quieter as he beckoned Carl over to him.

A mistake that he hadn't made in a long time as Carl made the move to get closer to Rosita and James the man named Carver just as quickly grabbed the boy, his arms quickly finding their places around the boy's neck ready to break it if it came down to it.

"God damn it you stupid bastard" James kept his gun trained on the pair in front of them hoping that he could talk the guy out of what he was doing, or at least get a chance to take a shot. It would be difficult that was for damn sure especially with only one eye...but not impossible.

Carl was still acting the part but James could see the smallest twitch in his eye's that now showed terror. Rosita still kept the light trained on them but also took the time to un holster her weapon and along with her flashlight keep it down the hall.

"Listen, I'm walking out of here with the boy. The minute that I'm safe I'll let him go." Carver stuttered

"You think we're just going to let you..." James began

"You don't get it, I didn't even know it was you breaking down my door. Sure I thought it briefly but…" Carver began to speak in the sternness that James had been used to before this encounter.

"What do you mean?" James asked

"There's a man, he runs a larger group somewhat nearby. If I don't or can't produce what he wants then I'm a dead man anyway, at least with him I have a chance"

Carl grunted as the man tightened his grip around him. "Who is it, why bring Carl at all? Why didn't you just leave?" James blurted out

"I figured if it was him and he caught me before I could get out then I could simply use the boy as a bartering token, wasn't sure if it would work but he always needs new people." The man looked back and forth down the hallway as Carl began to gag, he clearly wasn't able to breathe to well. And it was time to end it.

"Well that's not..." James began before firing his weapon, the chance was ever so small, the guy left just enough of his leg open. James took the shot missing his mark by an inch but still hitting the intended target but also going through Carl's leg in order to do it...something that he wished he could take back immediately.

Rosita and James quickly moved up to Carl whose screams were muffled against the gag, Rosita took him over to the side and untied/tended to his wounds as James looked at the man before him.

"Who is it" he said putting the gun under the man's chin

"I'm a dead man anyway..." He uttered sitting his head against the wall

"Not YET" James said putting extra emphasis on yet, as he placed the pistol against Carver's wound and began prying into it ever so slightly.

"Fucken...fucken Negan" Carver cursed, as he desperately wanted the pain to stop.

Without hesitation James replaced his pistol underneath the man's chin and fired a single round into the man's head.

"Is he good to walk?" James asked his brain processing what Carver had just told to him.

Nothing was said as James turned around to see a shocked expression on both their faces, Carl showing more relief than shock.

"Is he good to walk?" James repeated standing on his feet and now staring down at the pair.

"Ye...yeah he's good" Rosita finally uttered helping Carl get up and head out the way that they came. The red lights still lit most of their way but now was accompanied by a flashlight that Rosita continued to hold in her hand. Carl stayed in the middle, not that he had much choice, the boy having one arm over the pair's shoulders as they soon exited the building into blinding light.

The reunion outside went about as well as expected, Carl was for more or less ok. And despite what had happened and thanks to Michonne the Car ride back home was mostly uneventful almost calming. James almost welcomed the sight of walkers alongside the road, the new animals that inhabited the world. Though they are what caused the end of the world or end of civilization they weren't the one's stopping it from coming back, no they were now more of an annoyance. No the real problem was other people. no matter where they would go, no matter the hope that was contained in their little world, it could be taken...from them by anyone. With that final depressing thought James closed his eye, wishing that he would never wake up.

 **Home (Prologue)**

James poured the amber liquid into the glass that he had placed on the counter. Taking his time but still spilling various drops of the liquid onto the countertop, feeling his temper begin to boil. It was as if half the world was turned off from him which seemed selfish since there were other people that couldn't walk, who had been blind in both eyes since birth. And he at least could still hear and see out of one of his eyes but there was still that blackness that cut his vision in half, and no matter how good he knew he had it, the more he was reminded of what he didn't have. And the more that he stared down at the glass the more his anger began to take over.

Going to pick up the glass his hand hit the top of the object causing it to spill over and onto the floor, sending shards of glass and whiskey into various directions. Without thinking he picked up the nearest thing that he could and threw it against the wall causing it shatter. It was nothing special just a simple plate but it did relief some of the anger that had crept it's was in before, though now there was a bigger mess.

They had been back a few hours now and while the people seemed to want to see them and congratulate them on making it back, he wanted nothing to do with it. He wanted to be left alone, to just crawl into be for a couple days and simply let the world melt away and just not give a shit. He couldn't do that however until the doctor looked him over and declared that his eye couldn't be saved.

Picking up the bottle and his iPod James proceeded into the bathroom and turned on to the first song that came on which was Yellow Card's ocean avenue. As he stepped into the bathroom he suddently felt dirty, like every inch and every pore was caked in dirt, like he hadn't taken a shower in months, and after being in Alexandria for so long the feeling of being dirty was foreign to him. He put the shower on full blast and jumped in feeling the warmth as the water cascades down his body. Various cuts and bruises stung and burned as water and soap went into them.

He didn't know how long he stayed in there but after a while the music stopped from his iPod leaving him in total deafening silence besides the constant cascade of water. He stopped himself from getting out on instinct. He didn't feel clean, if anything he felt dirtier than before. After more time had passed the once boiling water was now lukewarm at best and was only getting colder, and yet the feeling of being unclean seemed to wrap itself around him not wanting him to leave.

The shower was now ice-cold and an empty bottle laid at his feet, the alcohol was having a numbing effect on the rest of his body that he hadn't felt in a long time. He was now laying down on a cold tile floor as the water continued to wash over him, completely engulfing him beneath an endless stream of water, keeping him from the outside world.

There was a knock upon the door that didn't even register in his mind to say anything, instead he continued to stare at the ceiling feeling a warmth on his face as a tears began flowing down his face mixing in with the cold shower. He could not get up from where he was. The knocking persisted and this time was accompanied by a voice, Rosita.

It took only a second of silence before the door was opened and the sound of footsteps could be heard sloshing their way across the floor before Rosita pulled back the curtain in tears and shock. "James what are you doing"

James didn't answer her instead held up the empty bottle shaking his head. Not willing to answer or just completely unable to, the feeling of wanting to be alone had faded and now only wanted to be with her. It didn't matter if she would stay for pettiness sake but God he no longer wanted to be alone.

Rosita went to the door and grabbed a towel and quickly returned back to James's side and helped him onto his feet, leading him away from the shower after shutting off the water and allowing him to tie the towel around his waist to save him some dignity.

Now that he was out of the shower he could see how bad the situation had probably looked from the outside as water had cascaded out of the shower and onto the bathroom floor leading to the door and presumably to the feet of Rosita who God knows how long she was waiting. He left the room and went to his bedroom and put on a pair of shorts before falling onto the bed feeling the room spinning around and around as he wanted desperately for this all to be over.

To wake up in his home, to not be left alone.

Rosita was in his room now clearly fighting back tears and was losing the battle, "Don't fucking do that again" She trembled as a single tear escaped from the tear duct and ran down her face. "I've lost too many people, and I can't lose another friend"

"Anyway I'm sure you won't remember this in the morning so I'll see you tomorrow" Rosita was barely out the door before James called out to her. Speaking for the first time in hours.

"Please don't leave..."

"What?"

"I really just don't want to be alone tonight"

After uttering the phrase he wished that he could take it back, she was, no she had someone else, she, she...

"OK, I'll stay"

 **"Let me know what you think with a review, as always I always enjoy reading what you guys have to say and what you thought of the latest chapter. As stated above I will try to do better, and that is all I can promise. I'll be updating my other stories soon and as always thank you...seriously thank you.**

 **Next chapter "Where are we Headed?"**


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